Get Women to Commit to Interactions with You

You guys know how big a fan I am of the Master the Vibe series… well now they have Chase Amante working with them. Chase has written some solid stuff in the past and I am looking forward to his contributions to the Master the Vibe series.

Below Chase brings up some good points about making your interaction with a woman more memorable to them… this causes them to be a bit more involved in the interaction.

Get Women to Commit to Interactions with You by Chase Amante

Oftentimes men, when out meeting new people, will get into great interactions with women, with good conversation, a playful vibe, even some sexual tension running beneath it all. Yet after ten or fifteen or twenty or even thirty minutes, the woman will say something along the lines of, “Well, it was nice to meet you but I’ve got to get back to my friends,” and walks away. The man stands there feeling surprised, because it seemed like it was going so well… until she abruptly left. The reason this happens is because she never committed to the interaction.

If you want to take your interactions to the next level, you need women to commit themselves to talking to you, spending time with you, just being with you in general. If you want the girls you meet to lock into you and realize that they like you, this is the way to do it.

There are several ways you can get commitment to the interaction. Here are a few things you can do to get women to commit themselves:

* Move them to another location within the same venue
* Have them change positions in the venue (sitting, standing, dancing)
* Have them wait for you while you leave for a minute
* Have them buy something for you
* Take them with you to another venue

A quick look at each of the above…

* Move girls to another location within the same venue. This is one of the easiest things you can do to get a girl invested once
you have been talking to her for a short period of time, and she is reasonably attracted to you – and it’s also one of the most
powerful. Example: you have been talking to a girl for six or seven minutes and she is very focused on you and clearly enjoys
talking to you. You say, “Let’s go sit down over there,” or, “I’m going to go grab something to drink. Come with me and let’s talk.” By going with you, she is acknowledging that she enjoys talking to you, and she is now moving SPECIFICALLY so that she can continue spending time with you. This is huge.

* Have girls change positions in the venue. If you are standing near chairs or a sofa, you can say to a girl, “Let’s sit,” then sit
down. If when you approached her she was sitting, you can say, “I’m getting tired of sitting. Let’s stand up for a minute,” then stand up. If you are sitting or standing in a bar or nightclub and you are comfortable with the dance floor, you can invite women togo dance – “Let’s hit the dance floor.” This is not as powerful as outright moving her to another part of the venue, but it can be a smaller step to build up to that if you feel like she is not yet ready to move somewhere else with you yet. Note that for building a connection it is usually best to be sitting with a girl… if she is sitting when you met her, the simple act of standing up with her, possibly going for a quick walk, then sitting back down again, can actually be quite effective in getting her to feel a good degree of commitment.

* Have women wait for you while you leave for a minute. This works especially great if you have something to leave with a girl, such as a coat, a drink, a coffee, a newspaper, etc. Ask her or tell her, “Watch my coat for a minute, I have to run to the bathroom,” then get up and leave. What this does is it gets her 1) waiting for you and 2) feeling responsible for something of yours. The commitment here is not as strong as moving her or changing positions with her, but it does nicely let her feel the difference between when she is with you and when she is not with you, and if you are having a good interaction she will be happy you returned.

* Have girls buy something for you. In a bar or nightclub, you can trade rounds of drinks, as in, “If you get this round I’ll get the next one;” another all-purpose line you can use any time you are with a girl and buying something is, “You got this one?” to persuade her to pay. When a woman buys something for you, she is making a strong statement of interest and she is investing resources in you – quite significant in her mind.

* Take women with you to another venue. If you leave a venue for another one, whether it is a park, a shop, a late-night diner, or your residence or hotel room, if she is coming with you she is making a very large commitment to being with you. She is completely abandoning where she was before to go somewhere else and do something with you.

The reason that it is so important to get women to commit to your interactions is that it makes them *realize* that they like you.  Otherwise, as funny as it sounds, they might never realize it.  They might really enjoy an interaction with you, but because they never moved somewhere else with you or committed themselves to the interaction, they will remember it later as no more than a nice conversation they had with a guy in a bar or a bookstore.

When a girl decides to commit herself to an interaction and move somewhere or watch your coat or buy you a drink, she becomes much more aware of the good feelings that she has for you and becomesmuch more invested in the interaction between the two of you. If it ever feels like you are meeting women but they are not getting involved enough, ask yourself if you are asking them to commit. If not… start doing it!

Chase Amante

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