Tips on Flirting

The Different Styles of Flirting

Being able to flirt is absolutely essential if you want to have A-game with women. You can peacock, recite routines and openers, practice inner game, but if you don’t know how to escalate a conversation through flirting then you will always have trouble with women.

Competitive Flirting

Competitive flirting takes the form of slight sarcasm and dry wit. On one of the interactions I have recorded, there is a line that goes something like this:

Her: I was raised jewish, although I’m not really practicing right now.

Me: Oh my God you’re jewish? I dated a jewish girl for two years and she broke my heart, I can’t even talk to you anymore.

Her: No, no, I’m one of the good ones!

Me: Ok, but I’m keeping my eye on you!

This was about ten minutes into our conversation, and it provided a nice spark during the “getting to know you” phase.

I’ve also been known to bust on girls early on.

Me: Hey you, do I detect a southern accent?

Her: Maybe…

Me: You know, I usually find people with southern accents to be beer swillin’ good-for-nothings…|

Her: (inhales, slightly shocked at how offensive I’m being)

Me: But you make it sound very elegent and sexy. (she begins to relax) In fact, if you were leading the revolution, I’d put money on the south rising again. (now she’s laughing).

Here, I’m jabbing her a little bit to get her engaged, then following up with a hug and kiss to show I meant no harm. This competitive flirting can work great early on to ramp up her attraction towards you.

Cooperative Flirting

Cooperative flirting is different. Rather than jabbing her, you pull her into your reality and create an “us against the world” dynamic.

Her: Oh that reminds me of my vacations in Disneyworld with my parents when I was a kid…

You: Yeah, it was always a question of Space Mountain vs. Thunder Mountain

Her: Ohhh, or the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror

You: Wow, you’re an experienced park-goer! I’m taking you with me on my next Disney vacation.

Her: oh, and when are we going?

Notice how you’re creating a little fantasy world where the two of you are flirting about something that will probably *not* happen, but which is fun to imagine? Its cooperative and fun.

Here’s another example that is slightly different:

Your friend: Adam, meet Victoria.

You: Victoria, nice to meet you!

Her: Nice to meet you too Adam.

You: Wow, look at your hair, its beautifully done.

Her: Thank you!

You: I was thinking of doing mine the same way tonight (she laughs, now you stroke her hair), but I can’t match your softness, you must’ve spent five minutes with the conditioner. And any girl who takes care of their hair that well, I’m thrilled to meet.

Her: (laughing, not quite sure how to respond).

You: So how long have you known…

I do stuff like this all the time when I meet girls. Its silly and over the top, but if you read my note last week about over-the-top compliments, you’ll know that these sort of things work well

When She Flirts with You

In your example above, she’s leading your hand and saying “come on, let’s play!” This is a GOOD THING! Play along! Here’s where you could take the example above

You: “And you said dancing too!!”

Her: ” Yup, tango, salsa, and a little bit of merengue.”

You: “Wow! Thats nice. Whats your favorite, or best at?”

Her: “Ummm, i would say salsa, because you get really close, really connected with the guy! (giggles)”|

You: Ok love, that sounds like something I need to know. Let’s see how I do (extend your hand). (you two start to dance – now here are two potential responses)

Competitive: Whoa whoa whoa, that is VERY close! I usually charge for that.

Cooperative: I am *loving* this – I feel like I could follow your dance lead wherever you took me. (and say the word “wherever” kind of sexy).

See the difference? Both create great opportunities for more flirtatious touching and kissing if you play it right.

Ok, get out there and have some flirtatious conversations, and write me back and tell me what your next sticking points are. I’ll catch you again on Sunday when I’m one year older.

Related Video: How to Tease a Woman (And Make Her Want you)