Cliff’s List 5/16/2007

Was at a conference with a few young dudes who wanted to do some

dinner after a long boring day of lectures. The guys (all fresh

out of college) were mesmerized at how I was able to capture the

hostess’ attention. She went out of her way to repeatedly walk

past our table with an extra “sashay” in her hips. Each time she

would pass, I would reach out and softly touch her hand to make her

smile or kneel next to my chair where I could drop some weasel

words and trance phrases.

I wanted to close her but she mysteriously vanished after we paid

our tab… so the fellas wanted to go from there to a gentleman’s

club. At first I turned the idea down since I had given up on that

type of recreation. However, I went along to be a goodfella. The

girls at the club keyed into my energy and bypassed the other guys

and were vying for my attention. I took my time and picked who I

wanted to dance… and then would use energy and sparing kino (to

keep the bouncers at bay) and they started spilling all kinds of

info about their lives…

One told me that she was taken. I said, “No man can reign you in.”

She acknowledged that this was true, and she had a girlfriend. I

then took that bit of info to convince her that she would never be

truly satisfied until she had a man. I tested to see if I could

break the rules by touching under her bikini and she did not

object. I wanted to continue working on her but the song ended too

soon and she was too money hungry to sit with me in the general

area.

Another took her place but got very skeeved at the fact that I was

turning her on…

Third time was the charm… this one HB12 who looked like a very

young Suzanne Sommers (Chrissy from 3’s Company) with a very tight

athletic body and a bubbly personality. I ignored her for the

longest time and she would not go away… even though there were

other guys with pockets of money ready to be spent. She flashed

her nipples and gyrated in front of me… and went so far as to

give me a neck and shoulder massage. Finally, after she had ground

her rump in my lap for 15 minutes, I agreed to take a dance with

her in the VIP section.

She pretty much broke all of the rules of the lap dance game… and

then some. Afterwards, both of us sweaty and sticky, she stuck to

me until the deejay finally screamed at her to get off my lap and

get on the stage for some pole dancing. After her set, she

immediately came back over, took my cell phone (which technically

is forbidden in that club) and keyed her name and phone number in.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Art (http://www.parkbenchdating.com):

Shark Week.

Most of us have heard of the expression, “live every day as if it’s

your last.” You know it’s baloney and let’s hope it’s not your last

day, because there are very few things you can do on such short

notice.

We all like to be within our own comfort zones, where it is nice

and safe. Even when approaching women, the comfort zone will keep

you in the state that you are the most comfortable with, aka “AFC

(Average Frustrated Chump)” state. We tend to cling to what we

know, and since most guys are familiar with the AFC state the best,

they will cling to it even if it is destructive to their personal

life.

I am here to introduce a new term.

“Shark Week” – a.k.a. Walk with your balls out. DON’T take this

literally. Be bold, regret nothing and as once said by Al Pacino in

Scarface “I only got my balls and my word.” Throw away the AFC

comfort zone, then be it. So next time you see a pretty girl, and

you are shaken, imagine a cart in front of you, because you’ll need

something large to transport your balls in when you doing your

approaches.

It’s a new way of thinking, a way of life. The meaning is: Live

your life like it’s a shark week, rather than looking right towards

the next boring day. Look at your life as an adventure, where

sometimes you should relax and feel safe. At other times, you

should go all out by separating yourself from the AFC comfort zone

and taking new risks.

For a few days, you might not feel like doing much and that’s

absolutely fine. Lay back and relax, but when you are out and have

fun, live like it’s Shark Week. Be aggressive, take chances and be

a ‘taking risks kind of guy’ and don’t hold back when you’re out.

Remember: You are a shark. A fun, playful ‘know what you want’

shark. So give yourself permission to live it up, because it’s

Shark Week.

More…

To sum up, Shark Week is a time/mind frame where you are not

forcing energy, but allowing yourself to make choices of living to

the max when you feel like it. Rather than affirmation, you are

enforcing your impulses with the right timing and experience. It’s

a purely natural skill and, thankfully, it’s also cognitive.

Soon enough, it will become a part of you to follow your gut

feeling. Follow through with these impulses and be able to enjoy

yourself without holding back. (In other words, when you want to

approach women.) But when you give yourself some BS excuses why you

shouldn’t, think that it is Shark Week and give yourself permission

to expand outside of your “Comfort zone” and approach women like a

man and not like a wussy. Similarly when you are out on a date,

give yourself permission to be a man because it’s “Shark Week” – be

yourself rather then trying to impress the girl with the next shiny

routine.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Carlos Xuma (http://siteFwd.com/R1M):

The Waterfall Method

A lot of the game out there has been hardwired with a certain

beliefs about the ONS. Otherwise known as the One Night Stand.

The fast lay.

Now, let me start by telling you that I am NOT here to judge guys

out there who make this their goal. If that’s all you want, fine.

Go for it. But I’m here to tell you about another option that

you’ll want to consider when all’s said and done.

I call this the next evolutionary step after you’ve gotten past your

quick-lay approach. I call it …

THE WATERFALL METHOD

First, let’s discuss why you DO want this goal of a One Night

Stand, and the reasons why you actually DON’T.

Why you DO want a quick lay:

A) You’re in need of sexual release.

B) It validates your masculinity.

C) It’s a challenge for 95% of the guys out there who don’t get to

experience this as a regular thing.

Great. Once we’ve gotten past each of these very TEMPORARY desires

(and one based more on an unstable self-image than real confidence)

we find that the success you feel at sleeping with women quickly is

fleeting. So now the other side…

Why you DON’T want a quick lay:

A) You’ll have much more difficulty in keeping her long term.

Now I’ve read that this isn’t true from a lot of “gurus” in da

house, and I’m here to tell you that the natural reaction for women

is to avoid confronting an uncomfortable image of themselves

– i.e. S.L.U.T. Even if you rock her world with great sexual

technique (still a rarity out there, sad to say), she’s still

going to be very disinclined to turn it into an LTR.

B) You’ll have much more variety and experience with women, and be

better able to create the kind of short OR long term relationships.

C) Guys who go for and get quick lays defeat their own biological

programming against this kind of behavior and will find it harder

to keep their own feelings alive longer than that one night.

But again, if that’s all you want, hey, that’s all you’ll get.

I interviewed an author by the name of Joe Quirk who presented me

with one pretty interesting concept on the evolutionary psychology

area with men and women. (Actually, several brilliant concepts,

which you can hear in my Advanced Coaching, but this one is

particularly relevant here.)

The revelation was this: Psychologically speaking, men feel less

att racted to women who sleep with them quickly.

Why?

Because we are programmed by evolution to *avoid* promiscuity.

Since men (up until the last 50 years or so) could not be certain

that a child was really theirs, they would only pair-bond with

women they felt demonstrated traits that showed monogamy and

faithfulness to their mate. Hey, no guy wants to sink 20 years

of his life and resources into raising someone else’s child, right?

Now guess what behavior clues a man in on a woman’s promiscuity…

“Uh, Alex, what is ‘time-to-intercourse’?”

Ayup.

D) You’ll give yourself MORE OPTIONS.

One of my rules of life is that the Alpha Man knows that his power

in life is usually in direct proportion to the OPTIONS he has

available to him at any given moment.

Fewer options = More frustration and scarcity thinking.

More options = Less frustration (i.e. more relaxation) and abundance

thinking.

E) Guys who shoot for (pun intended) one night stands eventually

get over it and want the whole enchilada.

That’s right, on the other side of this skill set is a dreaded

admission by even the most Alpha of us, that we get tired of it and

realize we need something more – CONNECTION. Hell, even guys need

connection.

You’re challenged by the next obstacle you face in the game, and

for most guys, they think it’s the ability to take a girl home the

same night and sleep with her. I submit to you that this goal is a

superficial one. You will discover that you need the next goal

after that. And so on. A man needs ongoing challenge.

I did. I went through countless short term flings that left me more

and more empty inside until I turned those into what I term

“beneficial serial monogamy.”

This is where I could have as many women in my life as I could

schedule, and it was always a mutually beneficial situation.

So what is my “Waterfall Method?”

I wanted to give you this as a concept that you could use right

away to improve the quality of your relationships and get you past

what I consider to be the false goal of getting One Night Stands

as soon as possible.

Here’s my Waterfall Method of pickup and dating:

1) Meet more women. MANY women. The more women you meet, the better

your ratios.

2) Stack them in such a way that you maximize your options and your

enjoyment.

3) Delay gratification. At the end of the day, you’ll have greater

success by delaying than rushing.

For example, let’s say you’ve got 5 women on the line (Chicka 1

through 5), all are interested because of your sparkling Alpha Man

personality.

– Chicka1 you meet or contact on day 1-5. Intimate with on Day 4.

– Chicka2 you meet on day 3-5. She goes psychotic on Day 5. See ya.

– Chicka3 you meet on day 6-10. Intimate with on Day 9.

– Chicka4 you meet on day 1-2. Intimate with on day 2.

– Chicka5 you meet on day 4-10 Intimate with on Day 7, 8, 10.

So the overall pattern is this: You get action on Day 2, 4, 7, 8,

9, 10. Had you tried to get a one night stand with all of them, you

would have had a much lower success ratio.

You rascal!

Of course, this is an over-simplification – though not by much.

What I’m trying to encourage you to do is think Big Picture.

Now for those of you wondering why I called this a “Waterfall

Method,” well it comes from project management methodology, and

simply indicates how your successes can stack up if you look

at the Big Picture.

One side benefit of this approach (and one that I use) is that you

make it clear to the woman up front that you’re NOT looking for

quick action – even if she wants it! By delaying her gratification

and stealing her frame by doing a role reversal, you tip the

balance of sexual power back to YOU, because now you’re not

needy or desperate. This then enhances your confidence for all

other women you meet. Chicka 1 to infinity.

This has been one of the most important things I’ve done to

increase my sense of self-worth and value over the years (and my

confidence.) We often think that getting the fast success will

increase our self-esteem, but the reverse is often true.

What we’re talking about here is a pipeline of women that will

enter your life and keep you happy, and this actually takes LESS

energy to start and maintain than simply pickup for a quick lay

does. And if you discover that a relationship is actually what

you want after sowing your wild oats, you’ll have abundance and

deeper skill rather than a quick hit mentality.

Don’t fall victim to a “McDonald’s” mindset.

Fast rarely means quality.

If you’d like to see a visual representation of this theory in more

detail, please go to: http://siteFwd.com/R1M

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Evan:

Over dinner last week my girls and I were discussing sex. Of

course. My friend Sara was going off on a hilarious tirade about

“giving herself a hand” when her boyfriend just wasn’t up to the

task and practically received a round of applause from the table.

Then we started in on stories that all began, “This one time…”

“This one time,” I told them, “I was having sex with *****, and we

were totally going at it, and he slapped me!”

There was silence as my friends tried to figure out how to react.

“And I liked it!”

Everyone cracked up. Nods of approval around the table followed and

we talked about all kinds of things we know we “shouldn’t like”. I

could write volumes about my desire to find a partner with whom I

can share intellectual stimulation, intimacy, trust, passion and

respect, and I would mean every word. I also desperately want

someone who desperately wants me. Preferably several times a day.

Here’s the thing: most girls love sex. Like, really love sex. We

like talking about sex, we like thinking about sex, we like

touching ourselves, we like touching you, we like you touching us.

The biggest lie in human history is that guys are dirty, horny

dogs. Girls grow up believing we’re going to be relentlessly

bombarded with requests for constant humping from our husband

someday, so watch out.

Yeah. Right.

Most women I know can’t get enough sex, and we’re hard pressed to

find a man who can keep up with our libidos. There’s a certain

dichotomy to the expectations women face in this day and age of

extreme political correctness. We’re encouraged to be independent

and sexually “liberated”, but really it’s expected that we’ll

actively seek the “right” things in a relationship. What is “right”

usually includes a lot of glittering generalities like respect,

love and commitment.

This school of thought is pervasive and problematic for both women

and men, because it has one glaring omission. Women desperately

want lots and lots of hot action and they will be faithful and

loving to the guy that can give it to them. We don’t stay with the

guy who loves us the most or the one who we feel safest with,

although those things are wonderful. We stick with the man who

turns us on and really strives to give us the sex we need.

Our fantasies tend to be incredibly illicit. We crave things that

are taboo. And most of what turns us on in is in direct opposition

with the things we’re supposed to want, and contrary to what men

are taught to give us. In turn, our sexual appetites are rarely

satisfied.

So why is it that so many people have grown up to believe that men

are the sex-obsessed pursuers and that women grudgingly give it up?

We are taught that part of being female is controlling our

appetites for many, many things, sex included. Little girls hear

this huge lie growing up over and over again, and as adults it

becomes a part of their internal dialogue. It’s a lie we tell to

ourselves and to each other.

It’s also one that we can choose to stop participating in. When you

are with a woman, be willing and able to honor her sexuality and

her drive. Empower her with your words and actions to seek the

satisfaction with you that she hasn’t necessarily found with other

men. Sometimes ideas are so deeply ingrained, it takes a lot of

practice to pull their roots up from our psyches, but it’s a

worthwhile and satisfying endeavor.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

C, Montreal:

Imagine a world where anyone who claims to have superpowers is

called insane and mentally unstable. This person is then alienated

from friends and looked down upon by society. Picture the

college/university scene being similar to ours, except we focus

on one boy, becoming a man who searched for and found within

himself a super ability with women.

In this world, beer still inspires intimate passion.

This young man can inspire intimate passion with any woman but how

he learns to control and harness his power is where the story gets

interesting, input of desire, management of crazy output:

controlling his woman’s passion is now what he has to worry about

With too much beer, pain is numbed which is normal; our buddy has a

normal beer tolerance …so what happens on his first night with

powers?

MY FIRST NIGHT, I was glowing, any girl nearby was unhappy if I

wasn’t talking to her. I made moves like I was dancing, from my

friends point of view I pinned a stranger against the wall, had her

so turned on she was making out with me and grinding all over me SO

WHAT DID I DO? I stopped making out…to whisper in her ear.

Basically I turned her on TOO much, too drunk to realize that her

kissing my neck was causing pain, then SHE turns me around, backs

ME against the wall, grinds on me hard while making out, SO WHAT

WOULD YOU DO? I stopped it…and told her it’s time to go

downstairs…

In the club, my friends were in a group, her friends were in a

group, I kept setting my boys up, but they struck out each

time…no game, best game you can play in life, and nothing…I

had my girl set them up too, but wow…nothing…I’d feel bad, but

no time.

Downstairs I lock us in a bathroom stall in the men’s room; boobies

flying, penis sucking action ensues…isn’t that what every dude

wants when he goes into a club, some action and a blowjob? Then

whatever happens, who cares anyways.

After…the girl leaves with her posse, I know now that she was

embarrassed…I have bruises on my neck like a crime scene of a

vampire trying to break my skin with her teeth…tracks leading

down my neck, so she leaves embarrassed, I don’t even know about

my neck, the next girls I met and chilled with told me that you

could see them from across the street, but I didn’t care, haha

one wanted me to teach her how to ollie my skateboard outside…

she was in her tank top and it was f r e e ZING outside

haha, o ya, if you are naturally an adrenaline junkie, live your

life by your rules, have style, bomb hills on your deck, wear

your scars with pride. And teach girls to ride, hold them by the

waist and ride them down the street, hold their hands when they

try to ollie, amazing to build chemistry you share

by touch and emotion the feeling of exhilaration.

So for the lesson, if you learn what Grant Adams is teaching (I

started with David D, then progressed to Grant) know that when you

turn on women, you CAN MAKE THEM TOO HORNY! I am f-wording

bruised to s-word haha, I probably would have forgotten it all

if I didn’t have this reminder…HELLO SCARF

I implicitly learned sooo much by listening to dating material,

without this I wouldn’t be THE man.

My story, I am still a virgin, but I have more skills than most

dudes that I know. My whole life I have had girls walk into and

out of my life, it’s pretty painful, but I never had time for

them, I was chasing other dreams, now I realize that great women

inspire and make great men, and I want great women in my life.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Cliff’s List, 2348 Lucerne Road, Suite 143, Montreal, QC H3R 2J8. Please notify