VAC: Not just to lay girls, but to guide loved ones to good decisions too…

The following was written in by one of the newest instructors at
theApproach, Alex. Alex is a distinguished gentleman hallmarked by
his great insights in the game, relaxed and fluid style, excellent
image and lifestyle sense, and a really strong set of ethics about
helping others to succeed. After training with all the high-level
instructors at theApproach, Alex has become a full instructor of
theApproach. He writes in with his experience using VAC to help
guide a loved one to a good decision.

Enjoy.

***

Value +
Attainability +
Compliance
=
Attraction

Thus VAC=Attraction

VAC: Not just to lay girls, but to help people succeed too…

I realized that VAC is not just for pickup and attraction, but
for all relationships and human interactions. But never did I
think I would use VAC to secure an internship for my sister.
Crazy, I know, but let me explain.

My sister went to a small liberal arts school, very local, and NOT
known for sending students to great internships, or even to great
schools for graduate school. My sister knew she needed an
internship that summer but was procrastinating in starting the
process.

As the deadlines were fast approaching for the applications, I
called my sister and she told me she had yet to start. I inquired
why and I got a slew of reasons: “Do they even take people from
Shepherd? I got a B in my class last semester. My GPA is only
3.4….” As I was hearing these comments, I was unsure of how to
help my sister through this.

Then it became obvious. There was an attraction problem. My
sister was not attracted to doing this internship. Her comments,
“Do they even take people from Shepherd College? I got a B in my
class last semester, etc…” These comments were all ATTAINABILITY
problems. She did not believe “Can a girl like me get an
internship like this?”. The first thing I did was reassure her
that people from shepherd had gotten these types of internships
before. Then I told her that people with lower GPA’s also got
internships. I even showed her how one of the programs were
specifically looking for dual majors in chemistry and mathematics.
The effect was this: “A girl like me CAN get an internship like
this.” At the end of the call, I made her repeat three times “A
girl like me CAN get an internship like this”. I made her say this
every time I called her about it.

I talked with her and used some forward future projection, painting
a picture of the opportunities she would have with this internship.
Meeting new people JUST like her, working on important problems
for the government, and the chance to implement her ideas and
skills, even do some killer shopping while in DC for the summer.
This effectively raised the VALUE of the internship to her. I
thought everything was good to go as VALUE and ATTAINABILITY were
both HIGH.

I called a couple days later ahead of the upcoming deadline in two
weeks. I asked her about her progress and she indicated that she
had yet to start the application.

What the hell? I thought this was handled.

I asked her a couple questions about it and figured out that VALUE
was HIGH, ATTAINABILITY was HIGH but there was NO COMPLIANCE. For
her to start the entire application was too much work. I needed to
break it down into something small and get her working on it.

I verbally agreed with her that the applications were a lot of work
and told her to just hand the professors the recommendation forms.
If she did nothing else, I would still love her and respect her,
but at least she would have the forms if she wanted to proceed.
This is very low compliance task, all she has to do is turn over
the recommendation forms and the professor fills them out and gives
them back. It’s a little compliance on her part and very easy to do.

I called a couple days later with only one week to the deadline. I
asked her what’s up and she said she had almost finished the
application. She told me that a couple days ago her professor had
turned over the recommendation forms and they looked really nice.
When she read them, she felt compelled to finish the application.
I smiled as I realized that once she completed the low compliance
task of turning over the recommendation forms, she was now invested
in the application process.

When the professors gave her the glowing recommendation forms, it
had the effect of rewarding her good compliance. The rewarded
compliance compelled to finish the applications and turn them on
time.

I learned a valuable lesson that attraction is more than just
pickup and seduction. Attraction is what allows us to focus on
what we want and acquire what is we desire. In this case, when
you’re mentoring someone or helping to guide them along in their
development, sometimes you have to know how to get them attracted.
VAC can do this for you. My sister was able to see the VALUE and
have ATTAINABILITY but she still did not fill out the applications.
It wasn’t till I got a basic level of COMPLIANCE from her till she
was truly invested in completing her applications.

Alex
—
theApproach: The Science of Social Chemistry for the Modern Gentleman