Never Kiss and Tell

Here is a newsletter from Zan. Its a good piece on respecting women. We are hoping to have Zan on one of our next podcasts.

Don’t Kiss and Tell by Zan

Never Kiss and Tell…

I have often said over the years that a true lover of women never
kisses and tells. Whenever I say this, guys around me become quiet
and start scratching their heads and generally look confused. So
why is this so important? Let me explain…

A man who loves women doesn’t kiss and tell because he has no need
to validate himself to other men by bragging about his “conquests”.
His encounters with women are never about bolstering his own
self-esteem or adding another notch to his bedpost. It is all about
respect.

This is because he is not interested in taking something from her,
but always in sharing something with her. In his world, all
experiences in life are amplified once they are shared, and if she
doesn’t feel like a queen, he can never feel like a king.

A lot of guys will go on a date with a girl, get a tepid kiss on
the cheek at the end of the night, and then lie to all his friends
that he slept with her and brag about how irresistible he was – or
worse, how easy she was.

A lover of women will lie the other way. When asked by his friends
if the girl he was out with the night before went home with him, he
simply says, “I like her. She’s a really nice girl.”

Let her do it. After all, you have nothing to hide. So if she tells
other people, that is perfectly fine. But it should never come from
you. Let her be the one to talk about your night together. The
proper response to a girl who turns to you and says, “Wow, that
was amazing!” is to laugh and say, “Don’t tell me! Tell all your
friends!”

Respect. That’s why. Respect for her. You see, a man usually
doesn’t need to worry about his reputation. Women do not have this
luxury. Unfair double standards, to be sure. So out of respect for
her and her reputation, a true lover of women never kisses and
tells.

A natural seducer has the notion that a woman who sleeps with him,
a woman who trusts him enough to open her body, her emotions, and
her heart to him, well, that is a very profound thing. That is
something that can never be taken lightly. And the last thing he
would ever do is compromise her respect by bragging to all his
friends.

You can do a lot of damage to her heart and to her future dealings
with men, and she trusts you not to. Sure, you can manipulate her or
deceive her, you can conquer her and make it past all her defenses.
What then? Have you won? Is she going to look back on her encounter
with you and smile? Is she going to daydream about you as she goes
about her day?

Always remember that you are responsible for your impact, and you
can hurt a woman’s heart and sadden her a little more. And then
it’s tougher for her to trust the rest of us!

Your goal should always be to leave her better than you found her.
That, my friends, is true respect. And a woman that senses this
from you, and believes that you are not about to kiss and tell,
will open herself up to you in ways you never even dreamed…

– Zan Perrion