The Power of Forgiving Yourself…and Others

Here is a Ross Jeffries newsletter I recieved that I thought I’d pass along. Ross always has some good life insights. Although
this is about speed seduction you can apply this wisdom to any area of seduction or life in general.

Forgive Yourself by Ross Jeffries

In life, we all make mistakes.

When it comes to learning Seduction, and indeed, the entire subject of success with women, you can count on TWO things:

1. You WILL make mistakes. Mistakes in judgment. Mistakes in execution. Mistakes in what you leave out. Mistakes in what you put in. Expect it.

2. No matter HOW prepared you think you are, women will test you and women WILL surprise you. Just when you THINK you have a girl “all wrapped up” she will pull something out of her hat (or ass). So, like I have said in my original book and have repeated over and over, when you start really liking a girl, just remember: you never know where you stand with a girl until you make that first, serious physical move. Until then, it’s all talk, talk, and sometimes just play-acting. Sad but true.

In any event, I have learned that, too often, guys hold onto their “failures” and dwell on them. It’s like obsessively chewing on the same wad of gum for year after year, as it collects more gunk, bacteria, mouth goo, etc. etc. etc. You wouldn’t do that, would you? But so many guys dwell on their “failures”. Or on how some girl screwed them over (instead of screwing them!) back when they were still “nice guys”.

Look, the problem with dwelling on all this is, what you dwell on, you are actually just rehearsing and retraining your mind to do the next time around!

That is the problem with “slumps”. The more you dwell on how awful you are doing, the more you carry those emotions into your efforts and it is like putting a 100 lb lead weight around each leg and then trying to jump out a 30 foot hole!

And again, what you mentally dwell on with strong emotion is what you communicate to your subconscious mind that you want it to do!

Despite all your positive programming, which I believe in and teach

(see my Fear Into Charisma DVD, http://www.seduction.com/feartocharisma.asp
and my Beyond Confidence Videos http://www.seduction.com/products/RJ166.asp)

your NEGATIVE programming thru dwelling on mistakes will probably more likely influence how you think, act and respond, BECAUSE IT IS MOST FAMILIAR AND IT IS WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN WITH STRONG EMOTION.

Remember this: the unconscious is most impressed by anything that includes strong emotion, repetition, and strong belief. It does what is most familiar, not what you necessarily most consciously may want.

So avoiding this negative loop requires better attitudes toward learning. It requires the discipline and awareness to notice when you are beating on yourself and to stop it. And it requires acceptance of mistakes.

If you find yourself dwelling on the past or getting mad that you are not making fast enough progress, I suggest you do the following:

Get yourself in a nice, meditative state. Do some of the deep breathing exercises that I demonstrate for free on the website. No purchase required. Just go to:

http://www.seduction.com/resources.asp.

Scroll down to the near bottom of the page and you’ll see me demonstrating a breathing exercise to ground you.

Or, if you like, try this one: lay down in a comfortable position. Inhale just a short bit-not a full inhale. Pause for a second. Then, only after the brief pause, inhale deep, deep, deeply into the center of your chest. Imagine you are inhaling deep into your heart, filling it. It is this second part of the inhale that really counts.

As soon as you are done with the inhale, immediately release it by totally relaxing your body on the exhale, releasing all tension.

Now, before you take the next inhales, PAUSE for a moment or two of silence after the exhale is finished.

Do 10 of these special breaths.

Then, to yourself, silently, repeat the following (you can write it out on a 3×5 index card if you like):

“I made mistakes as part of my learning. I HAD to make those mistakes to see where I can move to next. There is no way I could NOT have made them. Those mistakes are the foundation of new power just as soon as I forgive and release them. Since more mistakes will always be unavoidable, I will embrace them MORE quickly, forgive MORE easily, so I can most and more quickly move into POWER. Forgiving others, and letting them go is good training for forgiving myself. So even if they don’t “deserve” it I will do it for my own sake. I will either get what I want or learn what I need to. Mistakes are just MARKERS; marking out where I can step into new freedom, choice, power and growth. I may wish I had been born more evolved or perfect, but THIS is my path and I embrace it. I may not always like it, I may slip and grumble, BUT THIS IS MY PATH. I will let my learnings pull me forward. I will never stop learning til I draw my last breath and in that last breath I will learn what THAT is like as I embrace the Source of All Learning..right now, today.”

Once you are done with this, you can allow an image of yourself carrying this new attitude and new learning into your future seductions. And even imagine that image going off into your past, adding it’s energy into your past as well. Come up to the present with this image inside you.

Close all of this with three more of the special breaths.

Please understand, SS is NOT just about getting women. It’s about self-awareness and personal transformation. And please, follow my instructions. Without the deep breathing and the relaxed state, these belief statements will have little or no actual effect. And without the positive direction of how you want to be added in at the end, you aren’t telling your unconscious mind how you DO want it to respond. You have to train the monkey or the monkey will run wild. But first, you have to calm the monkey down.