The Match.com Game

Here is an entertaining post I found on the seduction game. It is all about the world of online dating and the games girls play in regard to it.

Match.com Game

Ed’s comments: Well Bathow posted this (Thanks I really appreciate submissions a LOT hint hint to all you moochers) but as per usual, Ima copy the text to make it easy for those of you too lazy to click links or vote for good stories (hint hint). This is a really great article actually, I think.. Actually I think its ultimatum time for you freeloaders.. Look for my next post. -badandy

San Diego, CA–Gentlemen, were getting killed out there. The whole world of online dating is exposing us for the buffoons that we are. Match.com is called Match for a reason, because its a contest. The site isnt about meeting a partner”its about beating your partner.

The problem is, we dont even realize a games going on, and that makes us look all the more foolish. Imagine if Tom Brady didnt quite realize he was playing football, that instead throwing for the end zone, he stood in the pocket trying to impress linebackers with knowledge of real estate and red wine. Would you respect the guy? Didnt think so.

I havent gotten my hands one yet, but Ive seen plenty of the plays in the last year. Heres a rundown of some of the most popular first-date maneuvers and tips on how to defend against them.

The Hug of Death

This wily move occurs at the end of the date, during the goodbyes. Typically, the two of you havent really hit it off, but, hey, youre interested in seeing her again because youre a guy and youll jump in the sack if given the chance.

As you stand a safe, respectful distance from her”you dont want to come on too strong now, do you?”and tell her what a nice time youve had, she initiates a big parting hug.

Pop quiz. The hug is her way of saying: (a) I like you! (b) Well never see each other again.

Now, human-goddamn-nature would tell you that the answer is (a), but were not dealing with your average human. Were dealing with a Match.com female, an adversary so cunning that normal coping mechanisms, such as intuition and instinct, are rendered utterly useless.

The answer, of course, is a firm (b). You never had a shot, Chester. She pulled a move on you known as the Hug of Death. Its a conciliatory embrace that says, You put in a yeomans effort, but you failed to impress. Its the last contact youll ever have with each other.

I know, I know.Youre thinking, I didnt even make the move”she did! She wrapped her &*%ing arms around me!

Welcome to the playing field. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and learn to play a little defense. Heres how to protect yourself against the Hug of Death: Dont let it happen. If she opens her arms for a hug, tell her something like, I dont hug anyone with my pants on or I dont know you well enough. Those open arms are like the grim reaper at your doorstep. Fall into the embrace and youre dead

The Fast Widow

This lightening-quick maneuver occurs at the end of the date, when your female friend sees you out of the bar or restaurant then hangs out to prospect for eligible males. It typically coincides with, or immediately follows, the Hug of Death.

Most men dont recognize the Fast Widow because it occurs so quickly. One minute, you think youre heading for the parking lot together, the next minute shes given some excuse to stay on the premises. Common lines include You go ahead. I’m just going to use the ladies room, and You know, I really like the tapas here. I think Ill order something to go.

Some of you guys might be thinking that the Fast Widow doesnt really exist, that its not a real play. Not a real play? Get your head out of your ass, Melvin! Ive been one of those eligible malesa”Ive taken a Match Widow home!

In my case, it was a woman Id met online about a year earlier. She was on a Match date at the La Jolla Brewhouse when I happened to walk in. An hour later, she sent her date to the parking lot and stuck around to use the ladies room. While her poor date stood out by his car for ten minutes, she lingered around the rest rooms waiting for him to leave. My two buddies and I watched it all happen. Eventually, she slinked over to our table, gave me a come-hither look and  said, I can stay out.

Unfortunately, defending against a Match Widow is futile. If she wants to stay, shes going to stay. You could stick around in the parking lot like the poor guy at the Brewhouse did. But, do you really want to find out why she stayed behind? Your best option is to leave the venue straight away, drive home, and toss her number.

The Offline Trap

If, on your date, the female announces, My Match.com membership is expiring soon and Im not going to renew, dont take this as a sign that shes slowing down or disengaging from the site. Shes not going anywhere. The only thing shes disengaging from is you. What shes telling you is youve just been blocked, that in a few hours (as soon as she gets near a keyboard) shes going to prevent you from ever viewing her profile again.

When you punch in her account, youll get a message that says, The profile you requested is no longer available. And because you believed that shes one of those special ones whos fed up with all the game-playing, youll assume her account just ran out.

Dont ever underestimate a Match.com female. Theyre not out to collaborate, theyre out to win. And for every winner, there has to be a loser. In this case, its you. Youll get home and realize that you dont have any real-world contact info for her, just a cheesy Match.com e-mail address, something like sdlips4you@talkmatch.com.

Youll send a few pings to the e-mail address, but of course, youll get nothing. Then youll assume and that shes sitting at home reflecting on her three years on Match.com, nurturing a special fondness for the very last guy she went out with.

Keep thinking that way, Gomer, and your genetic code will never get passed on. You want to see how reflective shes been over the past 48 hours? Create a separate Match.com account and punch in her profile. Shell be there, with the little red phrase by her photo that says, Active within last 3 hours.

To defend against this move, drop in at some point during the date that you have a second profile that you use from time to time. Tell her you just like to shop anonymously. Shell be able to relate to that.

Hardship Baiting

A finesse move. Your date will spend the evening probing for signs of your financial health. When youre not forthcoming with the information”if you clam up when she steers the conversation towards real estate, vacations, and care ”shell suspect one of two things:

Youre well-off but exceedingly non-materialistic; or, you dont have a cent to your name.

Now, she cant prove the former, but she can get her manicured fingers around the latter. What shell do is mention several times throughout the evening that shes got some small financial stresses, perhaps a condo that isnt selling, a car that needs work, a client who hasnt paid up.

Youll get sucked in slowly. Youll offer consolation and advice. Then youll add that you can relate.

And just like that, youre done. Shes baited you into admitting that you have concerns about your finances, that you have a few big bills to meet, a few comforts you may have to give up. Never mind that shes got the exact same pressures. Match.com dates arent about relating to each other. Christ, if you want to relate to someone, try eHarmony in Woodstock, New York.

Once youre hooked, the only internal conflict she has is figuring out which turned her off more, your admission or the fact that you fessed up so easily. Its usually the latter. Nobody likes a patsy.

Luckily, Hardship Baiting is easy to defend: When she sets the bait, keep your mouth shut. If you do talk, lie. Shrug and tell her how you cant imagine how she feels.

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Remember, gentlemen, Match.com is a sea change in American sport. Its the first contest in which women are stronger, fitter, and more organized than men. They know the rules and have the plays, and we dont. So get with the program. Learn their maneuvers, and together, date by date, we can take back the night.

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