The Power of Touch Escalation

I have to say this is one of the best D. Vitalio articles i’ve read. It is absolutely so true.

Escalating Intimacy with touch?

The biggest key to a successful seduction is making the right kind of contact from the very moment you meet until you've perfectly hooked your lady. What's the right kind of contact? We can look to our friends the religious fundamentalists for some sound judgement.

Do Religious Fundamentalists know more about sex than you?

Alright, who remembers what I've told you about touch?

That's right? physical contact is the path to the devil, and all those who touch anyone but themselves are going straight to brimstone.

In fact, same with those who touch themselves? they'll just have hairy palms at the same time.

Riiiight.

You know, there's actually a very good reason why religious fundamentalists are against close contact, rock music, dancing and the such.

They're RIGHT. Not about hell and all that? but it DOES lead to sex. The fact they think sex is evil isn't really out problem? it's theirs (and ours only if we want to date them).

But ever efficient in the prosecution of outlawed joy, we can learn a lot from fundamentalists.

It's opposite day! Their forbidden fruits, our commandments

No bare skin? ok, that's just obvious. As is

No kissing.

No dancing? when you dance, you sweat, your heart rate goes up, you accidentally brush against each other a lot, you gyrate in suggestive ways ?in short, your body is just dumb enough to think this might be sex.

After all, in a good lovemaking session, you sweat, your heart rate goes up, you brush against your partner a lot, and you do an awful lot of gyrating. So even if dancing isn't sex, it FEELS a lot like it, and whether you're fooled or not, it's going to be on your mind. All the same chemicals are coursing through you.

No hand-holding. Now this is where the fundamentalists are geniuses. I mean, what's wrong with hand holding? You hold the hands of all sorts of people youd never dream of getting romantically involved with moms, sisters, friends, the guy next to you playing Red Rover, the 80 year old medium in your an seriously, if hand-holding leads to sex, there'd be a lot more sex in the world.

But the religious fanatics figured something out which plenty of other people miss. Something which they'd be horrified to see, we're going to use to help us get CLOSER to the opposite sex.

The Magic of Contact

Because ANY contact between two people stimulates the release of chemicals into our blood. These chemicals do a variety of things? they make us happier, they relax us, lower our guard which in turn lets us feel closer to those around us, especially anyone causing the feeling and they lead to a craving for MORE touch.

Now with a relative or a friend, there's no particular danger here? those feelings get channeled into existing paths that are strong and not at all sexual.

With a stranger in an isolated setting it doesn't do much? mostly because a single contact isn't particularly strong, it takes a while to build up, and if your grandmas friend won't let go of your cheek, the setting isn't very sexual (and isn't going to develop that way).

BUT, just as the fundamentalists say, you take a couple of young kids and put them in a situation where they might be thinking about sex AND you add in some contact, this will often lead to intimacy.

Again, the only place we differ is they think that's bad. I think it's healthy, natural, and good. And I hope you do too? or else you're going to be awkward and guilt-ridden in these situations and you'll never get anywhere.

But let's just assume no one reading this thinks that human bonding equals selling souls. That, in fact, everyone here would like MORE intimate contact in their life, not less (I know, I'm really going out on a limb here).

Why don't we use what the fundamentalists have taught us?

HOW to touch

So you KNOW you want to initiate touching, and you want to do it early and often.

The key now is, how do you do it naturally and without being overly aggressive, raising her defenses, or just being plain pervy?

The key is to start IMMEDIATELY? so you aren't switching roles, but rather you come across as simply a touching guy? and to start SLOWLY.

My first contact will often be a high five. Yep, that simple. And it can be over anything? it can be true celebration or ironic. Personally, I like ironic? like I ask her where she's from, she says Cincy, I say Cincy? I once saw a baseball game with the REDS playing! High five!

Deliver these sorts of playful lines right, and she'll be laughing as she touches you? creating twice the good feelings.

You can be silly too? often I'll be in the middle of a conversation, and maybe it's getting a bit more serious, so I'll say .Give me your hand. (Obviously, you need to have established enough rapport that she will). Then, spin her pirouhette style, and continue the conversation in an extra-serious tone as if nothing happened.

She says something in a way you enjoy? and you say That's so cool. Or You're awesome and give her a one-armed hug around her shoulder or her waist, the way you would a kid sister.

When she finds out you read palms, you can accept her pleads to read her assuming she has the right energy. You'll need to hold her hand in your for about ten minutes to figure that energy out.

As deep rapport builds, you can steer a sexual conversation to hot spots. Ask her which really get her going? and go through them all, either to verify her words or to help her figure it out. Remember, the most common uncommon hot spots are things like wrists, the inside of arms, insides of elbows and knees, back of the neck, front of the neck and a few others that you won't be able to do in a public place as easily, like the crease at the bottom of the butt where the leg connects (or in the front).

Guided touch

Find out how she feels attraction run through her body then trace the route with your fingers, narrating her attraction rising the whole time. VERY powerful, since you've got the regular touch working, you're helping her relive attraction (which is exactly the same as feeling it the first time), and you're anchoring it to YOU. Magical.

Get her touching YOU? like if you're dancing, you can place her hips on your waist.

Practice em all!

There are literally hundreds of other techniques you can use to build your contact from friendly to intimate to sexual. All you really need to do is make sure you use the right kind of contact at the right moment, and keep building from the moment you meet to the moment you consummate.

Enjoy.

Your Friend,

Derek Vitalio