How “The Game” had Affected Pick-Ups

I came across this email on another seduction blog, and thought it was worth reposting on here. It is from the now legendary Neil Strauss, he is talking about how the popularity of his book will affect the pick up community.

Neil Strauss on Picking Up Women Post “The Game”

I was talking to a writer who was working on a now-controversial story in this week’s Village Voice about The Game. Part of it had to do with a blogger named Dolly who had read the book and caught a pickup artist using the lines in a bar. Later that night, she made out with him nonetheless.

So it made me think: I’ve received hundreds of emails from guys fretting that if the book or the community get too well-known, the game won’t work anymore.

So I did some thinking about that.

First of all, everyone knows how to diet, but not everyone does it. Most of the people who read about these ideas and techniques won’t actually put them into action. (Instead, they’ll procrastinate by writing letters worrying about too many people finding out about the techniques.)

The fact is, the game will always work. It’s just that some of the wording to the scripts may have to change — and that’s only for those who use the scripts for “training.”

For example:

What’s one of the most cliche pickup lines in the world?

The corniest, cheesiest one?

That’s right: It’s “What’s your sign?”

If you walk up to a girl and say, “What’s your sign?” she’ll know you’re delivering a rehearsed pickup line from some bad 70’s TV show.

But guess what? “What’s Your Sign” is almost exactly like the openers and DHVs (demonstrations of higher value) in The Game.

There was a point when “What’s your sign” was not a corny way to start a conversation. It was a non-sexual opener: a means of breaking the ice with strangers without hitting on them. It was a current topic, exciting and interesting. (As Mystery once put it, the best subjects for conversations are relationships and the unknown.) Furthermore, it was a way of demonstrating value. Instead of saying “let’s ball” (or whatever the lingo was at the time), you were showing that you were spiritual and had interesting knowledge to offer.

In the parlance of the seduction community, it was a neutral entertaining opener with DHV spikes built in.

And, sure, we all know it’s outdated and cheesy. But isn’t it extraordinary how a few minutes into seventy percent of all conversations with women, a discussion of astrology ensues? She’ll probably ask you, “What sign are you?” And if you know a lot about astrology, it’s actually a demonstration of higher value.

(Note to logical, empirical, factual men: Don’t say, “I don’t believe in that bullshit.” Cynicism and negativity are two traits to avoid when meeting a woman, even if you think they make you seem “cool.”)

When I was researching the book, I spent hours in Miami with a PUA named Maddash, who gave me a long tutorial on astrology. He taught me what all the signs meant, what the twelve houses were all about, how to identify astrological trends in people’s lives, and how to determine sign compatibility.

Whether or not I believed in astrology was immaterial: I now knew a lot about it. And it made for great conversation, connection, and value when I was meeting people.

So the epiphany I had was: “What’s your sign” STILL WORKS. It will always work.

Everything will always work. If people find out about it, all you have to do is change the way you say it and perhaps when you say it.

For example, if saying, “Hey guys, I need a quick opinion on something” telegraphs that you’re delivering a pickup line because the women read about it in a magazine, no worries. Just change it to: “I need some quick help settling a debate.” If opinion openers don’t work anymore, save the question for later in the conversation. I already have three other types of openers I’ve come up with that I’m waiting for the right time to release. And if I can come up with alternatives, I’ve got a feeling YOU can too.

In the bigger picture, the thing that’s important to remember is: There is no such thing as a pickup line. The language and wording don’t matter. What’s important is the intent behind them. The Jealous Girlfriend opener works not because it’s the Jealous Girlfriend opener, but because it’s a way to start an animated conversation with a group of people without hitting on anyone. So as long as you can always do that, you’ve got nothing to worry about.

Knowledge will not change the fundamentals of how women and men are attracted to each other. To make a bad comparison: Guys who like big breasts tend to be into women with fake breasts; it doesn’t even matter to them that they’re NOT REAL. They still flip the same attraction switches that natural ones do.

In the world of mating, perception is reality. And attraction, in the words of David DeAngelo, is not a choice.