Yahoo Groups March 17 2006 “Answers to Shit Tests”

Message: 1
Date: Thu, 16 Mar 2006 12:35:22 -0800 (PST)
From: Troy Dizon
Subject: Re: Some answers to tests/BS ?

i dont have all the time to answer all of that but hey remember the key is: Have
a strong frame that is unbreakable, with tests. Its the whole “I dont take crap
from you” attitude. i’ll get back to specific answers soon but in my principles
if the tests come then youre in the right track cuz shes testing for congruency

chris claridge wrote: Can I get some input on some of
these questions/statements/BS.
These are some of the ones that I never seem to have a perfect answer for.
I either cave in and act like a wuss, or 180 opposite, I get hostile.
Field tested answers please.
———————————————-

1) Why didn’t/don’t you bring me any flowers ?

2) Aren’t you going to pay for it ?
(right when you get food/drink and she gives a blank stare, or says she
assumed you were going to pay for everything)

3) Don’t you want to be my friend ?

4) So, do you have a girlfriend ?

5) What do you do for work ? (hidden message: how much money do you make)

6a) I want a guy who knows how to treat a lady.

6b) I just want a nice guy.

7) I don’t want to have sex tonight because you’ll think I’m a slut/won’t
respect me.

8) Spending time with, or eating dinner with a girl, and she answers the
cell phone and starts yapping. I know what Tom Leykis would
say…..wondering if there are any other clever solutions.

Chris

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Message: 2
Date: Thu, 16 Mar 2006 21:21:26 -0000
From: “George”
Subject: Re: Some answers to tests/BS ?

Hi Chris,

First the overall principles:

1) Always keep your answers short– don’t overexlplain.
2) Distinguish between qustions that signal interest in you(IOIs) and
manipulative questions
3) Remember, you do NOT have to answer every question just because
someone asks it.
4) If you can’t think of anything right away to say, ask her a
question before you answer her question. Get her to jump through your
hoop. [This can be your default response]
5)It’s perfectly OK to say “I don’t know”.

With that out of the way, I’ll give you my answers:

— In seduction_dating@yahoogroups.com, “chris claridge”
wrote:
>
> Can I get some input on some of these questions/statements/BS.
> These are some of the ones that I never seem to have a perfect
answer for.
> I either cave in and act like a wuss, or 180 opposite, I get hostile.
> Field tested answers please.
> ———————————————-
>
> 1) Why didn’t/don’t you bring me any flowers ?

I give flowers for special occasions ony. Not a word more.

>
> 2) Aren’t you going to pay for it ?
> (right when you get food/drink and she gives a blank stare, or says she
> assumed you were going to pay for everything)

Never happened to me like this because if I invite, I pay. Period.

>
> 3) Don’t you want to be my friend ?

Is this “Let’s just be Friends” type of situation? It used to happen
to me long time ago, but not anymore. I learned to respond with “I
have ENOUGH good friends” and shut up. The ball is in her court.

> 4) So, do you have a girlfriend ?

Sure, this happens when she is interested. I don’t have a girlfriend,
but I do date. (she knows what “date” means)

>
> 5) What do you do for work ? (hidden message: how much money do you
make)

It doesn’t have to be…I don’t just tell her “I’m X” — I describe it
creatively.

But if I sense she is asking how much I make, I keep it short and say
“I do well”. Period.

>
> 6a) I want a guy who knows how to treat a lady.

Get more information from her– don’t assume you know what she means
by it– “What do you mean?” and the focus is on her.

>
> 6b) I just want a nice guy.

Get more information from her– don’t assume you know what she means
by it– “What do you mean?” and the focus is on her.

Don’t let the “nice guy” lable trigger a hissy fit from you. You
really don’t know what she means by it. Draw her out and then respond.

>
> 7) I don’t want to have sex tonight because you’ll think I’m a
slut/won’t
> respect me.

Again, the response should be short. “No problem.” Don’t explain and
do NOT get angry whatever you do. Keep doing what you were doing.

>
> 8) Spending time with, or eating dinner with a girl, and she answers
the
> cell phone and starts yapping. I know what Tom Leykis would
> say…..wondering if there are any other clever solutions.
>
> Chris

First of all, I don’t do dinner dates unless we’re sleeping together.

Second, I do drinks/coffee get togethers instead and I make it a point
to turn my cell phone off in front of her and make sure I mention I’d
like to spend this time without any distractions. Most will turn their
cell phones off unless there is a phone call they must take.

Hope that helps.

Warmly,
George

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Message: 3
Date: Thu, 16 Mar 2006 22:54:18 -0000
From: “georgeivetic”
Subject: Re: Pain Exercise

i downloaded and printed out the “pain exercise” from the files and
began to think why i put up with this low-level feeling of vague pain
for all these years. first, i’ll tell you a bit about myself: i am 38
years old, have never had much luck with women and currently live
alone. i had gone to therapy for years and bought every self-help book
i could find but could not connect with women how hard i tried. at
first i thought your exercise would give me the same results i got from
self-help books and psychobabble. however, it made me think hard about
where my life was going and how i could get to where i wanted to be.
thank you very much and i will try and keep you informed on my progress.

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Message: 4
Date: Thu, 16 Mar 2006 21:39:11 -0000
From: “mws5872”
Subject: Re: current progress

— In seduction_dating@yahoogroups.com, “George” wrote:
>
> — In seduction_dating@yahoogroups.com, “mws5872” wrote:
>
> > Mike: at the MOMENT so to speak when I see a girl I’d like to approach
> > the things that go on in my head is first ” wow that girl looks hot”,
> > obviously most guys have this reaction.
>
> Ok, and after this statement, what happens? I’m quite sure this
> triggers more chatter and perhaps some feelings you’d rather not feel.
> Mike: Yeah it does it triggers like hmmm why would she be interested
in me and I am probably not her type. I mean honestly how I got my
last girl friend was that I wasn’t even trying… but its kind of hard
just not to ‘try ‘ so to speak.
>
> At the same time other ideas
> > are going on as well.
>
>
> If you’re not comfortable with listing those ideas here, write them
> down for yourself. Your eyes only. This is important because once
> you’re aware of what’s going on, you can interupt this pattern over
> and over UNTIL it’s stops working. So the replacement pattern goes
> like this:
>
> 1)Your less than useful chatter
> 2)Interupt by telling yourself to STOP!
> 3)Immediately replace with it “Let’s find out how much fun we can
> have” and approach even if it’s to say “Hi”.
>
>
>
> One thing that I know occurs especially if I see
> > her sitting alone eating lunch or with another girlfriend is that this
> > girl will think im weird for just going up to her and sitting down etc
> > etc. hmm.. The other thing that goes through my head is she won’t be
> > interested, and that is self defeating in itself.Other than that I am
> > not sure what else there is . Thoughts?
> >
> > Mike
> >
>
> You need to learn to challenge your inner talk and ask this question:
> Where is the evidence for this? How do I know if this is true or false?
>
Mike: I am not sure if its true or false I asked a couple of girls and
they said they would have a lot of respect for a guy who has the balls
to do that so speak. Others ones said they would think he is weird.
But once again, what a woman says she likes and what she actually
likes is totally different.
>
> The fastest way to solve this problem is to:
>
> 1) Become aware of your inner talk(chatter)
> 2) Desensitize yourself with the drills and take small risks to build
> your courage. I’m sure you’re familar with the saying “Nothing
> succeeds like success”, right? Well, it may sound corny, but it’s
> true. And the key is to keep stacking your successes.
>
> Take a look at Chun’s results from the 21 Day Drill and The Reporter
> Drill. The only requirement for these 2 drills is to have at least
> some courage to make a series of small steps.
>
Mike: I saw that Chun was really successful with those drills, a
couple of my friends find it hard to believe that I have a hard time
approaching women. I told them that a lot of my problem is in my head.
Thanks George.

>
> Warmly,
> George
>

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Message: 5
Date: Fri, 17 Mar 2006 02:34:51 -0000
From: “dddrsos”
Subject: Step by Step (day 11)

Normal day. Ask 13 girls for directions (and i feel that i’m talking a
bit more with them) and 0 smiles (not real inspired).
Tomorrow i will trace a objective…i want to aproach 15 girls and ask
for directions and 5 smiles….let’s see what’s happen.

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Message: 6
Date: Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:36:36 +1100
From: “Hart, Simon”
Subject: Something to do when thrown in the “friends” zone

Here is something I do when I get LJBF’d… (Lets just be friends).

Start calling her “dude” when you talk to her. She is now a GUY.

Do this and watch the quizzical expression fleet across her face, as you
pass her and say “Hey dude, how’s it going?” You hardly listen to her
answers, you have ZERO interest.

She is thinking: “DUDE?! Oh I’m “DUDE” now am I?”

Despite the fact that you got LJBF’d due to ones own blunders, never the
less the validation still tickled her vanity, so you want to pull that rug
right from under her feet, like that trick where you whip the table cloth
off the table and leave everything still standing.

YES princess, you are hence forth to be known as “dude”. You are “dude”
until such a time as I turn this frame right around and you are chasing me
again. I’m going to keep you at arms length until such a time as we are
totally re-framed.

It can be done. Don’t believe all that crap about it’s impossible – nothing
is impossible.

It’s just a shit load of extra work that you created for yourself. I say
never give up on the target – that’s like starting a book and never
finishing it. Some books are 20 page pamphlets; other books are like War and
Peace.

S

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Message: 7
Date: Thu, 16 Mar 2006 13:25:32 -0800 (PST)
From: sam doo
Subject: Re: Some answers to tests/BS ?

Heres something for everyone…hope it helps, all. Tests??? ah crap…I go by
this , makes more sense than trying to live up to any woman”s/man’s test…..Be
free be true to urselves. And, if no one likes ya for that….well their loss,
I’m sure 🙂
Enjoy….Samantha ( dont sweat the small stuff….)

Troy Dizonwrote:
i dont have all the time to answer all of that but hey remember the key is:
Have a strong frame that is unbreakable, with tests. Its the whole “I dont take
crap from you” attitude. i’ll get back to specific answers soon but in my
principles if the tests come then youre in the right track cuz shes testing for
congruency

chris claridge wrote: Can I get some input on some of
these questions/statements/BS.
These are some of the ones that I never seem to have a perfect answer for.
I either cave in and act like a wuss, or 180 opposite, I get hostile.
Field tested answers please.
———————————————-

1) Why didn’t/don’t you bring me any flowers ?

2) Aren’t you going to pay for it ?
(right when you get food/drink and she gives a blank stare, or says she
assumed you were going to pay for everything)

3) Don’t you want to be my friend ?

4) So, do you have a girlfriend ?

5) What do you do for work ? (hidden message: how much money do you make)

6a) I want a guy who knows how to treat a lady.

6b) I just want a nice guy.

7) I don’t want to have sex tonight because you’ll think I’m a slut/won’t
respect me.

8) Spending time with, or eating dinner with a girl, and she answers the
cell phone and starts yapping. I know what Tom Leykis would
say…..wondering if there are any other clever solutions.

Chris

Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when
I am with you..

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won’t make
you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to,
doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

4.. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches
your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them
knowing you can’t have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is
falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be
the world.

8. Don’t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn’t willing to waste
their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the
right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to
be grateful.

10. Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There’s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have
to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust
next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try
and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don’t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them
to.

REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

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Message: 8
Date: Fri, 17 Mar 2006 14:24:32 +1100
From: “Hart, Simon”
Subject: RE: Re: Pain Exercise

That’s awesome! I think the problem with ‘buying ever self help book’ and
what not is that we remain in the trap of being passive, you know what I
mean, and also they are fluffed up because they are a product.

I’m also SICK of being told “it’s easy” — no it’s not. Its F__KING HARD!

I’ve spent ten years doing yoga and whatnot (some of the more major supposed
esoteric forms of change and everything) and as a ‘path’ to self change,
this area is the most real and confronting thing I’ve ever done in my life.
Those other things were like being brushed with a feather duster, where as
this is like jumping into a fire and burning your flesh off.

It hits you HARD where it HURTS, smack into the fragile ego and sense of
self worth.

I’ve fallen into the same trap with buying ever e-book from dating guru’s.
The information is great but…I’m remain passive, like a fat dude sitting
in my arm-chair reading Men’s Health magazine. I need to get my arse OUT OF
THE CHAIR and down to the gym, yet I expect the purchase and reading of the
book ITSELF to change me. I basically tell myself I have “taken action” by
buying the book. It’s a lie.

A painful question I started to ask myself a while ago is “how many women
did I approach this week?” – sometimes it was like a full internal cringe
because I had not approached any. Yet another week of my life gone where I
had NO CHANCE of meeting a woman.

This started to instill in me a kind of panic, like “the clock is ticking” –
my life is slipping away… Tonight I did not particularly feel like going
out, until I realized that I will not have time until probably next Thursday
or Friday again to do it…

Fear, Laziness, “Softners” (i.e. “oh well I can go out next week) – these
are like a disease in me that I need to fight head on.

S

—–Original Message—–
From: seduction_dating@yahoogroups.com
[mailto:seduction_dating@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of georgeivetic
Sent: Friday, 17 March 2006 9:54 AM
To: seduction_dating@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [seduction_dating] Re: Pain Exercise

i downloaded and printed out the “pain exercise” from the files and
began to think why i put up with this low-level feeling of vague pain
for all these years. first, i’ll tell you a bit about myself: i am 38
years old, have never had much luck with women and currently live
alone. i had gone to therapy for years and bought every self-help book
i could find but could not connect with women how hard i tried. at
first i thought your exercise would give me the same results i got from
self-help books and psychobabble. however, it made me think hard about
where my life was going and how i could get to where i wanted to be.
thank you very much and i will try and keep you informed on my progress.

________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

Message: 9
Date: Fri, 17 Mar 2006 15:52:41 +1100
From: “Hart, Simon”
Subject: A great statement

I read this line somewhere the other day, and it really burned into my mind:

“Be obviously cooler than the chick…”

For some reason that works for me in a way that all the other advice
doesn’t, such as ‘be cocky and funny’, ‘be confident’ etc.

Be COOLER.

Right! I understand that.

S

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Message: 10
Date: Fri, 17 Mar 2006 04:49:43 -0800 (PST)
From: Chunwah Ho
Subject: Re: Re: current progress

— mws5872 wrote:

> Mike: I saw that Chun was really successful with
> those drills, a
> couple of my friends find it hard to believe that I
> have a hard time
> approaching women. I told them that a lot of my
> problem is in my head.
> Thanks George.
>

So would you like to try out the 21 day drill and see
how far you go with it? your school is a good place to
start out because usually the fellow students are
pretty friendly.

Chun

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Message: 11
Date: Fri, 17 Mar 2006 07:30:26 -0800 (PST)
From: Chunwah Ho
Subject: Re: IOI’S MISSED????

— arthur deane wrote:

> HEy group I got another story to tell today in
> another instance of wondering if I was getting IOI’s
> or not. I went to the book store the other day to
> look
> up some Japanimation. I love the stuff. Anyway, I
> see
> this girl with her friend looking at the stuff also.
> In all honesty the girls were a 6 and even though I
> ahve no problem approaching alone, when women are in
> groups I hold back. Anyway they were looking for
> something new and I had over heard them and decided
> to
> interject and told them what I would recommend. We
> started tallking for a few minutes and then one of
> the friends left and I was talking to the cutier one
> in fact. Anyway she told me her name and asked me
> for
> mines. I was surprised at this think it was an IOI.
> We talked for a few more minutes but I was just too
> niave to close. She really seemed interested and
> gave
> me even kino when I was guiding her had to the books
> to read and all and even smiled . She even smiled a
> lot while we talked about animie and yes folks she
> was
> at least 26 . SOmething in my head told me to close
> this thing, but I was so surprised of sucess I just
> decided to eject. The girl had a look on her face of
> shock and curisoity. I think I missed a close. My
> friends tell my mmain problem is that I can show
> them
> when other are interested in them but I never know
> when a lady is interested in me . .I dismissed her
> and went my way. Anyway did I miss my IOI in that
> conversation. Should I ahve taken advantage once her
> friend left me alone with her ??
> I know my stories have wierd endings, but Im just
> learning this game so I’m gonna tell you my failures
> and sucesses. This time I felt I ejected too early
> without getting the number what do you guys think
>

Hi, a similar situation happened to me the other day.
I was at a all females clothing store…and saw these
two girls. I made a couple of mistakes. First I
approached the cutest one because her friend was
difficult to get to. Did my usual routine, opened her
while her friend looked on, caught myself so I started
to neg her (while at it, I negged her friend too). She
started showing IOI’s to me (ie good eye contact,
laughing, paid attention to what I said, good
response). But in the end I just ran out of material
and sabotaged it myself.

So what all this means is, I’m not doing enough of it
and need more practice. With enough repetition, you
will learn to focus less on the contents of your
material, which frees your mind to focus on the
logistics of the interaction and when to close. Of
course you can always rehearse it first on your own a
few times…doesn’t hurt.

Chun