The Scientifically Proven Best First Date
The Scientifically Proved Best First Date by Leil Lowndes
Many a Hunter, having beguiled his new Quarry into a first date, now wonders, “Where should I
take her?” Many a Huntress, when asked where she would like to go, simply says, “Let’s go out to
dinner.” This has always been my choice. Over dinner you can get to know your Potential Love
Partner, and it gives him the opportunity to explore all the wondrous facets of your scintillating
personality.
But if your goal is to get your Quarry to fall in love with you (as the fact you’re reading this book
attests), dinner is not the best choice. There is compelling evidence showing your Quarry will be
more attracted to you if you place him or her in an emotionally stirring or vulnerable situation.
There is a strong link between emotional arousal and sexual attraction, as researchers proved.26
They took female research assistants and male subjects to a scenic spot to conduct an experiment.
The locale was a popular tourist attraction where the subjects could peek way down into a
frighteningly deep cavernous gorge. Only two bridges crossed the gorge. One was the choice of
tourists, a safe and solid bridge. And there was the other one. The other one was terrifying! It
swayed from side to side, blew in the wind, and tipped precariously over the gorge. Only a few brave feet ever trod across this bridge.
In the study, male subjects were assigned to walk across either one bridge or the other. Whichever
bridge they traversed, all males were met on the other side by a female research assistant.
After crossing the bridge, either the solid one or the tippy, precarious one, a female research
assistant showed each subject a picture. He was told to write a brief story about it. Then the female
research assistant thanked the subject and gave him her home phone number. She casually
remarked that if he would like to “further discuss the experience,” he could call her at home.
What was this experiment all about? The researchers were looking to see which stories had more
sexual imagery and which men took the female research assistants up on their invitation to call them
at home.The men who had walked across the scary bridge wrote the sexiest stories, and men who crossed the scary bridge—you guessed it—were more apt to call the females at home to discuss the traumatic experience. The experiment showed that anxiety-producing situations create a more erotic turn-on.
Why? Recall the drug we discussed earlier, phenylethylamine, or PEA. Fear produces that same substance which shoots through our veins in the early stages of infatuation.
Give Your Quarry First-Date Butterflies
Obviously it’s neither possible nor practical to suggest an outing where you make your date cross a scary bridge. But science tells us, if your first experience together is stirring, your date will transfer the strong emotions to you.
Hunters, you could take her horseback riding or surfing. If these physical activities are too strenuous, choose an emotionally exhausting experience—a moving play, a scary movie, or a great concert. For example, a beautiful ballet leaves me emotionally exhausted. Perhaps your Quarry is moved by music. Maybe she loves the opera. Maybe he’s into watching dogfights.
Sharing anxiety and talking about a stressful situation brings couples together. Many office romances start as the two face the same challenges. Movies, plays, and fairy tales are crawling with heroes and heroines defeating the big bad wolf together and then living happily after.
To test the findings in another way, the same researchers brought male subjects into a laboratory.27 They told some of the men they were about to get a series of painful electric shocks. They told others that the shocks would be mild, not at all painful. While each subject was waiting his turn, the researchers introduced him to a young woman (a research assistant) who supposedly was another subject in the experiment. After letting them have a brief conversation, the researchers asked the fellows to fill out a questionnaire evaluating the woman he had just met.
Once again, the anxiety-filled fellows (those who thought they were about to receive a strong electrical shock) rated the young lady more favorably than their more relaxed brothers. This proved once again that someone is more likely to be attracted to another if he or she is emotionally aroused—even if the arousal does not come from that person.
TECHNIQUE #17:
When planning your first date, find out what pulls your Quarry’s strings, then plan an arousing, emotional
experience. You don’t have to risk life and limb together, but a little early shared anxiety is a proved aphrodisiac. Then, of course, it’s nice to have dinner afterward so you can discuss the traumatic experience.
I really like this advice by Leil Lowndes and really suggest checking out her book if you don’t already own it. You can click the link at the top of the article to read more about it.
If love isn’t what you are after and just want some good old fashioned ONE NIGHT STANDS click here.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.