RELATIONSHIP PATTERN
Relationship pattern
“I have a new theory about all relationships and what makes up the ideal one.
First of all you need Passion. This is where you have a physical chemistry with this person, where you feel drawn to this person that you’re with, you may even feel a warm feeling right here in your stomach and maybe it spreads all over your body when your with this person where you can lose track of time and give yourself completely to this experience
Next you need Intimacy. This is where you feel an emotional connection with this person, like you’ve known them before, and like you were always meant to know this person like this was meant to be and where you feel completely comfortable and close and you may feel it right here in your heart.
Then you need Commitment. Philosophers have called this a sense of “duty” where you feel secure, knowing that this is someone that is here for you, that we both choose to be together and this is someone that you can see yourself with now and in the future.
Now, all relationships are based on varying degrees of each one of these
elements.
For example if you have just passion, but no intimacy or commitment, then that would be like just physical infatuation. Like a one night stand or something nothing more, nothing less.
If you have just intimacy, but no passion or commitment, then that would be just friendship. And we all have those
If you have just commitment, but no passion or intimacy, then that would be an empty relationship. Like a lot of married people out there so sad.
Then you can have passion and intimacy, but no commitment. This is like a “Romantic affair” and maybe the knowledge that it is something that’s now or never or that you have no guarantees about, makes the passion and intimacy even more intense
And you can have passion and commitment, but no intimacy. That is like people who stay together because they really like the sex.
And you can have intimacy and commitment but no passion. That would be like grandma and grandpa who are together for companionship, but cant remember the last time they did it.
And of course the ideal, as with all things is about balance, where you can have just the right amount of passion, just the right amount of intimacy, and just the right amount of commitment well now that I think about it, an extra little bit more passion would be nice what do you think?”
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.