How to Handle Complimenting Girls

Stephen Nash back with a good newsletter on Complimenting girls. I think some guys are afraid to compliment with all the hoopla regarding neg hits. He’s got a great ebook out called How to Get a Girlfriend... worth checking out!
Don’t Always Neg by Stephen Nash

Have you ever heard from dating guru’s that if you compliment a woman you’ll RUIN your chances?

Have you ever experienced a compliment FLOOD, in which you blew
the sexual tension by using too many compliments?

Did you know most guys compliment in the WORST possible way (you
might even be doing this)?

Do you know that CORRECT and appropriate compliments are like
throwing GAS on a open flame when it comes to sexual tension and
attraction?

I’m going to share the SECRETS of the naturals with you now.

So many guys I’ve worked with are truly clueless when it comes to
complimenting a woman. How many of you have said any version of
the following:

“Wow, you’re drop-dead gorgeous. Let me buy you a drink”

“God broke the mold the day he made you!”

“You are fine! I gotta take you to dinner sometime girl – Gimme
your phone number!”

It’s a sad moment when any man lets rip with any of the above. Can
you see how insulting these are? Cool, socially intelligent guys
never waste their time with “compliments” like these.

Not only is it blatantly obvious that the only thing you are
thinking about is sex, but it is also painfully clear that you lack
imagination and any ability to actually pay attention to anything
other than her looks. That’s three strikes against you, and you
have only said one thing!

Women do not like to be treated as sex objects by men – clear? When
you “compliment” her with any of the above, you give yourself
exactly zero chance of meeting the actual person, and having a real
conversation.

Let’s take a minute now and talk about how to compliment a woman,
in a way that does not insult her.

First of all, people (not only women), prefer to be complimented
about things that they have actually done. So, in the case of
complimenting a woman’s appearance, why not consider her selection
of clothing and style?

“Let me say, you look terrific, your sense of style is impeccable.
Are you a designer of some sort?”

“Are you an athlete? You walk with such grace and composure – not
easy in heels on the concrete sidewalk.”

Your chances of flattering her are very high with statements like
these. You could even initiate a conversation with a woman using
these.

Again, you are talking about the choices she made around her
clothing selections for the day or the grace with which she carries
herself (something she has undoubtedly worked hard for). You are
complimenting the person, rather than her God-given looks.

If you are in conversation with her, and feel the desire to
compliment her, again, try to stay away from her looks:

“Wow, I am impressed. You are a great conversationalist. This is
really interesting. Let me ask you, how were the dinner table
discussions when you were younger – pretty involved I’d bet.”

“You’re clearly well read – a characteristic I really respect.
Where did you get that quality? My mom and dad were avid readers
when I was growing up, so I naturally became one too in my adult
years.”

If you ever do feel compelled to remark on a woman’s beauty, be
sure not to do it when you first meet. This just places you in the
age-old category of a guy who is only interested in sex, and can’t
think of anything original to say. SERIOUSLY. It is far more
powerful to do so later in the conversation, as she will feel more
comfortable around you and thusly more able to be flattered.

“You know, I haven’t said so until now because I didn’t want to
make you uncomfortable – but you are a very beautiful woman. It
must be both a burden and a luxury for you in life. Do you ever
feel that people are often speaking to the face or the body, and
not the person?”

Ultimately, you want the compliment to indicate that you are able
to pay attention to more than just her pretty face. It also
indicates that you have some knowledge of what it means to be a
beautiful woman in the world. This helps her to relax around you
even more, allowing her to open up more to you.

That’s how you really reach her guys, not by barking at her out
your car window…

S. Nash