When She Doesn’t Realize It’s a Date

You?ve managed to secure a date- or so you think. What?s the deal when she thinks you?re just ?hanging out as friends??

She probably does know it?s a date

If it?s just you and her, doing a sufficiently date-like activity such as going out for a candlelit dinner or seeing a movie together, it is extremely unlikely that she doesn?t realize it?s a date. Especially if you have paid for her, she knows that you are trying to woo her. She is only pleading ignorance to avoid (or at least postpone) rejecting you. She?s not interested, but is perhaps not assertive enough to turn down your offer to take her out. Going on a date to avoid saying no to a date isn?t the cleverest move- she will have to reject you at some point. Perhaps she is hoping that you will get the hint from her saying that it?s not a date.

When she really doesn?t realize

There are only two possible circumstances under which she genuinely does not know it?s a date: either she is incredibly na?ve, or she thinks that you are friends and that your time spent together was in a friend capacity.

In the first case, where she is not worldly enough to realize that going out with a guy probably means it?s a date, you need to be very clear to her that it is a date. This preferably needs to be done before the date itself. If she only realizes during or after the date, it could be disastrous. She could freak out because she?s not dressed to impress, or because she?s really not interested in you and now it?s too late not to give you the wrong idea.

In the second scenario, where she thinks you are hanging out as friends, again you need to be clear that it is a date, and do it before the date actually occurs. If you have spent time together as friends before, you will need to spell it out for her that you are interested in dating her. What?s worse it when you know she thinks of you as a friend, and you try to trick her into going on a date with you by asking her to hang out.

Damage control

You?ve been on what you thought was a date, only for her to insist that it was not a date. It?s preferable to avoid this situation before it happens, but it is too late for that. It?s time to go into damage control. Insisting that it was in fact a date will not work in your favor. The best strategy is to concede that it was not a date, but in the next breath ask her on a date. For example, you could say, ?I had a really nice time with you, I?d love to take you on a proper date?. You have a decent chance at her saying yes, provided your friend-date went well. If she rejects you, so be it. You don?t want to waste your time taking her on another friend-date.