Must-Read: Things That Only Happen In Porn

Porn’s weird. It’s like always there, just a click away, and so us men tend to look at it a whole lot. How can we not? It’s a whole bunch of hot women doing very insane things while nude. How are we not to look at that? But, where it gets weird is when we begin learning things from porn, as if that is what women in our regular non-porn sex life want to do. And that’s where it comes down to unlearning what porn has taught us over the years and years and years of watching it.

And so today we’re heading on over to Men’s Health where they have a list of things that only happen in porn, and never, ever, ever, EVER in real life. For example, things to keep on eye on:

3. Extreme dirty talk.

Nearly half of the scenes in popular porn include name-calling, according to Bridges? analysis. What?s the point of all the slut talk? ?It?s a reminder that she?s a bad girl, so it?s okay to treat her this way,? says Bridges. ?She?s not somebody to be treasured.? The real-world stats: 20 percent of women have actually experienced this in the bedroom?and almost all of them didn?t like it. No surprise there: ?Real people don?t enjoy being put down,? says Sitron.

Try this instead: You can take control in the bedroom?even verbally?without calling your girlfriend a whore. ?Talk dirty in a question format, rather than a degrading format,? says Sitron. So for example, you might ask, ?Can I spank you?? or ?Can I pull your hair???whatever it is you want to try. That way, you?re getting permission to take control, which makes her feel a little less powerless.

So head on over to check out the other ways that this is subtly affecting your sex life, and then work to change it.