Day #28: How Turn a Friend Into a Lover (part 2 of 2)
Yesterday you got part one of Bobby’s Evil Scheme to turn a friend into a lover.
Let’s continue where we left off.
Part one of the Evil Scheme dealt with you spending a month away from your friend.
This helps break her ‘pattern.’
You know the pattern… the one that keeps winding up without you kissing her.
During that month you improve your look, build up your social circle, and create jealousy and confusion by being vague.
Today we talk about how to handle it when you finally see her again.
This is extremely important.
You do this wrong and destroy all tension and anticipation you built up.
*Bobby’s Evil Scheme for Turning a Friend into a Lover (part2)* TM
If you are strict about following the plan laid out in part one… you’ve got her mind all tangled up. Or maybe “scrambled” is a better word 🙂
It is critical that you use this pattern interrupt as an opportunity to slip yourself in (literally 🙂
You got to capitalize on the built up tension.
It is too easy to fall back into the status quo if you drop your guard.
Let’s talk about how to capitalize on the built up anticipation.
When the times comes to hang out again. Invite her to an event that is on YOUR TERMS.
This means inviting her to a party or get-together with you and your friends.
The goal of this first meeting is to display the “new” you in action.
Once you’ve established a meeting point (bar, club, party) you need to arrive there EARLY.
Once you get there quickly establish yourself as the social charming guy of the evening.
Hopefully some other girls from your social circle are there. ( Hence the importance of Day 26)
If you don’t know any girls there, then need to be an approaching machine.
I don’t care if you have to start a conversation with every girl in the bar… find one that sticks.
When your “friend” finally arrives you NEED to be talking to some girls.
You are to acknowledge her, but DO NOT quickly run to her side.
Let her feel a little awkward and uncomfortable for awhile.
How many times has she done that to you?
—————————Advice—————————–
Do NOT get too drunk. You can easily ruin everything you’ve been working towards. Drinking too much makes it too easy to lose control and say or do the wrong thing. I would maintain nothing more that a good buzz throughout the night.
————————–/Advice—————————–
During the night you should bounce back and forth between your friend and other girls.
For the short intervals that you spend with your friend the convo should only consist of light, flirtatious talk. ==> (read this to refresh)
You need to spend time building sexual tension through teasing (Day 12) and touching her.
You need to quickly escalate. (Day 17)
Sexual escalation is more effective because it’s less ambiguous:
[+] Hold her hand (use an excuse of looking at rings or a bracelet if you need to.)
[+] Put your arm around her
[+] Touch her hair
This is stuff that LOVERS do. Not friends.
You need to use a combination of these “touches’ to shift out of the friend zone.
You also need to break rapport.
She will try to suck you into talking about the same old status quo topics.
You need to take control of the conversation and (subtly) let her know YOU’RE calling the shots now.
If she starts talking about some guy she’s dating change the topic quick.
…Or better yet, tell her you are going to get a drink and go talk to another girl.
Your goal is NOT to offend your friend or be mean.
Your goal is to to build ATTRACTION.
If you’ve followed everything correctly you will have built up some strong attraction.
As the night gets later you have to make a decision.
You have to decide if you are going to shoot for the fences… or if you’re going to end the night with her wanting more…
This is something you will have to feel out.
Personally, I’ve found it almost always most effective to swing for the fences the first night.
Her emotions are going to be peaked. (especially if you’ve used the entire Scrambler)
She will be feeling attraction toward you.
Now it’s just a matter of letting her know it’s alright to embrace this attraction.
—————————Advice——————-
This should go without saying. But I’ll say it anyway. NEVER verbally acknowledge any of this. NEVER. Everything should be happening without any mention of the paradigm shift.
————————–/Advice——————
If you’re going to go for it. Rapidly escalate the touching.
Some girls may not be game for making out in the club. In this case you need to find away to get her alone.
Once you’re alone with her you have to be sure to keep the sexual tension alive.
If she starts talking about something that doesn’t help the mood… break rapport again.
Later in the night, as the tension mounts, the best way to break rapport is with physical contact.
This means tease her with a gentle push, or grab her hand to look at her ring.
Or touch her ear to comment on her earring.
It won’t be enough to just tease her and escalate the touching.
You need to act in a seductive manner. You have to encourage her to have sexual thoughts about you.
You need to prompt these by:
[+] Holding strong eye contact
[+] Slow down your speech and deep your voice
[+] Look at her like you want her
[+] Look at her lips and leave pauses where you just look at each other.
Don’t mess this up
(re-read 7 mistakes going for the kiss)
If she’s comfortable with that or looks at you in a seductive way.
Go for the kiss.
If you find she is being unreceptive to your advances then let the evening die down with you in control.
If you sense you need to build more attraction.
Close out the evening the talking to other girls. And part ways with your friend.
If you’ve decided to hold off for another night to go for the kiss….
I suggest making a deal with yourself.
Give it one more chance.
The next time you hang out with her it can be alone.
(Follow the advice on Day 6 for creating jealousy spikes)
Treat this night the same way I told you to treat the last one.
You need to break rapport, flirt, touch her, tease, and build attraction.
If you find at the end of the night she still isn’t receptive to being kissed.
move on.
There are too many girls out there to get hung up on one girl.
Be bold!
Bobby Rio
P.S. Getting a female friend into bed is literally one of the greatest moments you can experience.
Previous Lesson: Day 27
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey thanks for the great stuff. Love you guys
I have your guides and also Robs ones purchased.
Unfortunately I did it a bit late into my mess .
I got the sickness and messed up bad multiple times after we had a kinda relation ship going on also did the classic drunk I love you mistake before but things were still kinda good but now we ended up separate she kinda feels something for her previous guy after all my fuckups I know where I messed up every time and its over now. But I would like to have another crack at her after a month or two maybe after 3 and use your guide but my big question is this.
Now that its over Can or Should I tell her all my feelings and things I couldn’t kinda like a closure and why I became such a big looser from a cool guy since I have never fallen for anyone like that before and failed to handle it ? It sounds stupid in my head but I think it would help me get over my sickness but not sure if it will make it harder down the line if I want another crack at it in a few months for fun to see if I can succeed.
Thanks
Ok Bobby I have a problem, I want to put a woman in the lower end of the friend zone and keep her there. My problem is that she is falling all over me all the time. I would say she is a 3, and I’m seeing a 8 and things are going along very well with the 8. Oh I have placed some of the gals in my life in the friend zone and they stay there. I’m older in life and don’t want to spend the rest of my life with a door stop. And not an 8 to 11. So what advice would you give me. And I look about 15 years younger then I’m. So it helps with the younger gals, If I want to play with them.
If having problems talking to females, go to a strip club.
Very easy to talk with, work your game, practice, Best
no worries
First off, I’m loving this material you’re sharing. Really is pointing out some of the major mistakes I had made through all of my twenties…now, not to boast but I have no problem getting the initial connection…I’m a musician and a DJ who runs his own company and doing fairly well for myself. Some girls (we’ll call them my B-list) I have no problem getting home and continuing the friends with benefits thing for a bit. However, the ones I really want (my A-list…intelligent, stupid attractive and successful types) I always end up friend zoned…however…since really studying your methods I have gotten two of them in bed in this week alone along with getting a number from a girl at a wedding I was DJing and Got a date setup. And yeah, I’m sure people looking at this will be like ,”hey, but your a DJ…you should have no problem getting chicks”…but i do…at least the ones I really want.
Anyways…so I need some advice on this one girl in particular who I have hooked up with (4 years ago) and have been friend zoned with since. We haven’t seen each other in over a year and she decided that she wants to visit/see me (she literally was trying to get me to Nashville or head down that way…where I kept saying no so she booked a flight this way)…so got the black out phase done…and she’s staying for a week…so…how do I rebuilt that attraction from 4 years ago to make the move. There have been a ton of positive changes in my life that I think she took attention to which is why she suddenly has been trying to reach out. So… Am I just being chicken and not making a move or is there more to it that I should keep in mind for when she arrives? Thanks for your advice.
Hey bobby,
I just don’t know how to start a conversation. Even in the guys group i got stuck and don’t talk too much, don’t know how to interact with the peoples. Just help me, What should i do?
[+] Look at her like you want her
HOW DOES ONE DO THIS?????
You never say how to do this stuff. Some people just can’t read people!! Or just plain know when the time is right. I don’t see it until days later. WTF
This won’t work if you don’t go to parties. The girl I’m after would just forget me after the first week. None of your stuff has worked, or will not work because I do not go to parties and a very limited social life. Work and home, because I work nights plus I’m married.
Sure wish I could get my money from this crap session. Plus I think allot of these people are lying about their conquests.
This won’t work if you don’t go to parties. The girl I’m after would just forget me after the first week. None of your stuff has worked, or will not work because I do not go to parties and a very limited social life. Work and home, because I work nights plus I’m married.
Sure wish I could get my money from this crap session.
Following your programs, finding only mediocre success. For this here to work, seems like #1, you need a social circle to begin with. Since I got divorced a year ago, I have literally 1 friend, who will never go out anywhere. If I hang with him its only at his house. So I go out alone most of the time. I can’t stand cold approaches. I was never one to just talk to strangers. As an introvert this feels like torture. Since starting your program, I have started trying it. Any girl who I was able to engage in conversation it took me leas than 5 minutes to realize I don’t like them, despite them being physically attractive, and I want nothing further. I’ve had success with girls on dating websites, but again, nobody responds if I measage first. If I get a message from them first, I can usually get a date, but, it never goes anywhere because of my work schedule. I’ve made out with 5 girls now who all said they didn’t want to go to the next level, because they were starting to like me too much and we would only ever be able to see each other on weekends.
Why waste time? Walk away.
Hey Bobby,
I been reading a lot of your material but I do not recall reading on how to get all these women on all these dating sites to even start a conversation. Are they all looking for prince charming??? I must of email two hundred women and got one. any help?
Hey Bobby I need your help with this situation as it is slightly tweaked. My ex- fiance and I broke up a while ago but she’s just keeping me around to have sex and if she’s lonely until she finds someone better. She’s also a control freak and I made the mistake of giving up the control a long time ago because she knows I’m always gonna be there because I genuinely love her. So I broke the pattern by disappearing for a week and she was blowing up my phone etc. After a week I answered and she said she wanted to see me then I cancelled the plans with her and she flipped out and got all sad and emotional and she’s dying to see me (your advice worked) 😉 but what do I do now? Do I keep cancelling plans with her? Do I ignore her? I feel like its really hurting her so it’s hard for me to be doing this but I don’t want her to pull me back in and repeat the cycle. She treats me like a yo-yo- pulls me in then pushes me back out again. How do I get her to fall back in love with me?
Seriously, if you’re in the friend zone, you’ve got to use “mind games” to snatch the power back. here’s what i mean: http://unlockherlegs.com/unlock1.htm
Bobby,
So, what if you hook up with your friend and nothing changes? She held me all night afterwards and seemed cool when i kissed her goodbye in the morning, but a few days later she still said she wants to be friends. The biggest issue is that she thinks I’m too old? Is is time to quit then?
Many thanks.
Hey Bobby, Why does the pickup community seem to have such a high incidence of terrible spelling? Is it some kind of trick to snag attention?
Hey Bobby
Thought I will just pop in to tell you that the link to Day 6 on this page isn’t working. I get a “You 404’d it. Gnarly, dude.”
Cheers
Tony
Bobby you are an insperation! Been reading ’31 days’ & my game has skyrocketed…your ‘the man’ & thank you!
So there’s this movie called the Zohan by Adam Sandler. I’d say it’s the most accurate movie closest to real life in comparison to Snow White and her prince charming or Mario and Peach if you catch my drift. Pay attention to what “The Zohan” does while he makes the world silky smooth and then watch the scene where goes on a pick-nick. Watch it over and over again until you “get it”
Hi,
I am currently reading your 31 days and might I say a real opener I thought I had game until I saw this um I usually don’t have trouble around girls due to my job as a bouncer but I have a specific question for you I have this recent friend I met her In a club I was working in a week after that she asked me to her house to help her build her bed we stayed up all hours of the night then we eventually went to bed and hooked up now it has gone to just being friends what went wrong???
And how do I salvage this thanks in advance regards Anthony
of course she’s trying hard to avoid you. dont take this as offense, but you are buying into her right? B4 building attraction, escalation and sexual tension you are just blurting out you ‘love her’. This scheme is bound to fail Try reading from day 27 to this one. READ THE ARTICLE AND COMMENT!
sometime ago i confess a girl who have been a friend for more than 2 year,that i love her and i want her.now she is trying hard to avoid me.what should i do.
hi is vin dicarlo teaching 85% correct do u have a comment on his teaching thank you greg.
Hey Ankur
Sounds like you’re doing awesome…
Approach the first girl the same way you normally would. Don’t make it weird or anything just cause she knows. In fact, its easier now, because she knows what you’re after, so there is no confusion.
Hey BObby ,
I need help in this matter, there is a realy hot girl i have my eyes on she is in my social circle i am going to approach her but there is a problem,
when i asked my female friend about her, and got the information later on she spilled it to her how to approach her now cause i want her,.
second girl
I have been talking to this girl i escelated the things and i took her to bed with out even saying that i love her or anything, and she is mad about me, she has even confessed that she thinks about me when ever she in bed alone.
third girl
I got this girls phone number from facebook, i have been to her and escellating day by day, things are going fine with her.
4th girl
I met her in a BUS it was a cold approach, i just jumped into the report and kept on talking till i got her to talk and she got comfortable around me. i asked her for the phone no but she was reluctant but she wanted to be friend on facebook i dont know what is it going to turn towards.
5th girl
I met during the salsa class i am talking to her on facebook, and playing the game still haven’t got her phone number though but i am going according to plan.
can you give any insight about my progress.
and yes i want to nail the first chick who is in my circle she already has a girl friend but i would say all goal posts have a goal keeper but that does not mean we can’t score goals..
Hi Bobby,
I met a gal who had recent breakup.Then we were sleeping on the bed very closely and having wine.After touching her so many times then i went for a kiss.She objected me . Then next time when i went to her she was in her undergarments and i tried touching her more.She put on trousers and then she told she hates men (one of her friends was in relation for 5 years and that night he kissed another gal).Now she does not talk to me much in public.I dont know how to procede . She dances with many men in the party.Please help me.
Beg * and chase*
You know one technique I always used is to build up sexual tension then pull away. leave them feeling like they are in the friend zone with me. Then repeat the process til they practically net for me. It’s self gratifying when you turn the tables to get them to base you!
it is working on the girl how i like