Day #13: Approaching Made “Easy”
“Easy.”
Remember Ed?
Told you about him a few days ago when we were talking about “value”.
Guy had the slanky redhead giving him the eye… he couldn’t break the ice. Talked himself out of approaching….
Later that same night I’m still in the bar talking to Ed.
He keeps getting these strange text messages from some fat girl he met on Match.com a few months back.
He wants to let her down.
He wants to tell her to “back off.” But he doesn’t want to sound like a dick.
Plus he thinks she’s a little ‘wacko’ afraid she might do something rash.
As he’s showing me this I see a girl out of the corner of my eye.
We make eye contact.
It’s a girl I vaguely remember from college.
I didn’t know her that well back then. It’s been about 10 years since I last saw her.
But we made the eye contact. So I knew I needed to say “hi.”
Plus she was cute 🙂
And I wanted to demonstrate to Ed how “easy” it is to start a conversation with a girl.
…But I wanted a fun conversation.
So the last thing I wanted was to go through that whole 10 minutes of ‘how have you been?’ ‘what have you been up to? Do you still talk to so and so…’
That’s not fun.
It brings no value to her moment.
So as I walk up to her. Kind of just grab her by the hand.
I say “Hey come with me we need your help for a second.”
Brought her over to Ed. Told her we need her help. How can Ed construct the perfect text message to let his Match.com stalker down gently.
She jumps right into it. Tells a funny story about some guy who stalked her.
Right away we’re having FUN….
We skipped right over the boring part.
Here’s the secret to making approaching “easy”…. skip over the hard part.
The hard part is introducing yourself. Wading through the boring ‘get to know you’ chit chat.
No one likes that.
So skip it.
I call this hitting the “fast forward” button.
Works like a charm.
Invite a girl into a conversation you’re already having.
————————————-Task——————-
Next time you’re out. Try hitting the conversation “fast forward” button.
Start right at the point of a conversation you’d rather be at. No need to explain. Just jump right into it.
———————————-/Task——————-
This works for a few reasons.
1. It’s easier. It doesn’t involve you having to walk up to a girl and say “I thought you were cute and wanted to introduce myself.”
That’s hard. You’re probably not going do it too often.
2. The girl got her guard down. She’s in the middle of a conversation with you she’s got no time to put her bitch shield up. No time to reject you.
3. It’s more fun. It’s something different than she’s used to. You surprised her a bit. She’s gonna be interested. See where this goes.
Trust me on this one.
I’m a natural ‘introvert’. On the ‘shy’ side. I spent a lot of time trying to make this as EASY for myself as possible
This is one of my secrets.
I shared it with you. Put it to good use.
P.S. By the way, I have an entire training program called “The Natural Approach”, all about approaching women. And right now, as a special offer, you can get it as part of my 7 for the price of one limited time special. Just an FYI, the Bobby Rio collection special deal ends once these lessons end, and then the price will be 10x what you’ll pay today.
Make it Happen!
Bobby Rio
Previous Lesson: Day 12
{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey, this technique is right on! I’ve tried it myself and it works like a charm. I was at a multicultural festival. Just standing there minding my own business when this “older woman” came up to me and started talking. I’m 57 but she was easily in her 60’s. For some reason older women find me attractive…YUK. anyway as she’s talking to me I notice this hot young chick checking me out hard, she was in her early 30’s and just right. I watched for a minute or two. she got up from her chair ( she was surrounded and impossible to approach) went for a “walk ” in plain view of me. As she started coming back in my direction I told the old gal: “sorry I see someone I know. gotta go”
I marched right up to this young woman and said, Hey can you help me for a minute. That woman over there is hitting on me and I need tyou to talk to me and pretend that you know me for a second so she will go away. Worked perfectly, got her name, number. Then she asked me “is that the only reason you wanted to talk to me?” So I chuckled and said “no I wanted to talk to you because I think you’re really pretty” She’s definitely interested! Now it doesn’t even matter if I was telling the truth or not!
Try it, it works!
Shortly after I started getting these, I came across a profile for a cute 21 year old girl. (I’m 66) Her profile practically asks guys to neg her, and she even provided ammunition for doing the negging. She acts like I’m some Neanderthal conservative (she is politically liberal), but she keeps returning my messages.
The funniest thing that happened was that at one point she accused me of making a sexual remark, but I was using her words from an earlier message. (which weren’t particularly sexual). In her next message she used a phrase that is innocent on the surface, but it contained a possible phallic reference. So I took this as an opportunity to tease her about this, suggesting that maybe her subconscious was thinking sexually about me.
Now she comes back and says that maybe she is turning into a young liberal slut thinking about my dick. (Her words).
I need to move this out of the messaging realm and into real life. I’m a recent widower who hasn’t dated in decades. This online dating thing is new to me. I need help making the conversion.
Hey Bobby! Love the advice! Quick question on this last one. Will this work or can it be done if you’re let’s say alone at a coffee shop or other place? Meaning if you’re not already engaging in a convo with a friend is there a way to use this fast forward method? Thanks!
Hey Bobby your doing justice for introverts everywhere
For a great pickup routine that demonstrates some of the principles we are talking about here, watch “American Sniper”, where Chris Kyle first meets the girl who will eventually be his wife. He comes in funny, pass her first shit test, negs her slightly, gets her playing a drinking game, threatens to walk away after her second shit test, gets her to ask him to come back, it’s classic, and the rest of the movie is great on top of that.
Being bold always works better than being cold.
The mp3 link does not work right here.
What you said about clothes and how you present yourself really works. I wore a Brooks Brothers suit to take a 60 something women to dinner and it really got her attention immediately. Even before I met her I stopped to buy some breath mints at a village grocery store and the lady looked at me and asked me what was my name and stuck out her hand and introduced herself. I recognize her from match.com so I will email her later when I have time.
Some of the tactics and conversation ideas will work and some may not because I am dating women 50 to 60 years old and they are not young chicks and they have been around.
this seems to have a “bar/club” vibe to it, which I don’t do… do you have an “easy” approach for day time? such as when we’re at the places we listed on day 2?
I’m not going to be “in a conversation” with anyone else in the day time, so there’d be nothing to bring the girl into.
thanks
Some background: I’m a medical doctor. Been married twice and in one long term relationship since that. The teaching here is pristine and absolutely brilliant! A lot of it is common sense. Something that a lot of us, myself included, seem to have lost track of.
nice!!!!!!
awesome hear man.. yes, we can be our own worst enemy
right click and choose save file as
Hi Bobby sorry to ask, but l did not get to view the video on day 6, so could u send me the write up or the video again.tks
the link is not openning is there another way to listen to the mp3?
Hello Bob,
I might be your oldest follower in these lessons, so I can honestly tell that I’m really impressed from the results I’m already facing in my personal life, just after 12 days since I’ve been reading and listening to what you “teach”.
It is now very clear to me that the one and only reason that things went wrong for me was… MYSELF ! I believe that this is the fundamental principle that we must NEVER FORGET! Thanks again for opening my eyes and keep the good work.
hi bobby your programme are really a great insight. but can you help me with the mp3. i am not able to play it. i tien reloading many times but its not playing please help.
Hi,
I don’t think you can approach a girl in the manner described by you ! may be if she is alone!
So, I’m listening to all Bobby has to say and I’m trying to be playful in conversations now, a tease, and wow, it’s so much more fun that all that interviewing rubbish I used go through. Few days ago I hassle a german girl I just walk up to on the street and drink my coffee beside her.. hi – she says hi, ah, youre german – I got arrested trying to smuggle comedy into germany – she laughs, we get on great but she’s a bit plain and I got to be somewhere – but the practise is what its about, right? So I move on. I’m at a cafe last night teasing a girl about being vegan and she’s touching me all the time, I keep up with conversation, and then switch subjects cos the diet stuff is getting old, another woman (hot!) at the end of the table sees how much fun we’re having and wants in on it, pulls up a seat and starts eating my food. i’m going to be a chef she says, oh no, I say, white just isn’t your colour – and she’s hooked into it. Establish yourself as a tease, what great advice! It’s so easy to reapproach women when they think you’re fun. Actually looking forward to bitch tests now, see how I cope. How many of these can I turn on their heads with great one-liners? Small talk, no impressing, no agenda, just having fun, and it is fun! Screw trying to impress them with my knowledge and shit now, that is just awkward needy crap. I can see how i could escalate these fun situations fairly easily, circumstances depicted I show a little respect last night, but I’m feeling a lot less ‘useless and lonely’ now. Mindset, FUN! Abundance of woman! Thanks heaps Bobby! Life kooks a whole lot easier.
I want you to give me a talk on this issue.
I met girl about 5 months ago and initially i wasnt ready for a relationship but i accepted her and we started dating.
Things were smooth but for some weeks now she has changed completely. I will call her numerous times and she will not respond and she will not explain to me whats the issue is about. She also not ready any time i try to know her – Friends, brothers, sisters, past life, etc Moreover she is not ready to do what i want her to do. SHE CLAIMS, SHE LOVES ME AND WILL NOT HURT ME……..
I am planning of quitting the relationship. What is your ADVICE Bob?
Kindly send the advice to my mail……..[domjosh@excite.com]
Josh
Thanks Bob
I really like it…it makes perfect sense,i am definitely gonna use this on my next pick up…
Great everytime bro…
have tips up at last post
dude you’ll may not belive it when i say im 15 but stuff like this makes my confidence level go up so fast like i be honest i was a huge loser in middle school. but man i’m not bragging but im way cooler in high school still wve any tips on when to time plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz helporking on it but man i so glad i randomly clicked on an add
but i have about promblem about boosting sexuality in all forms like kino
teasing and etc. like im at the point in which i really make conversations easy and fun but i never get all the major sexual stuff through cause i never get timing right do u ha
Whts up man I like this method , a lot cuz ur right it doesn’t give her any time to come up with any excuses . But in yours example I don’t think it would work in todays world cuz if u grabbed some gurls arm an ask her to help u wouldn’t she just pull back an think ur a creep ?
hey man i never got day 12, you think i can get the link for it??
Although I haven’t really gotten a chance to try this “in the field” yet, I have tried this just via texting and talking to girls who had previously condemned me to the friend zone and it’s unbelievable how much it makes girls immediately eat out of your hand! no joke, even improving my posture and walking more confidently is getting me more attention. this is really awesome of you to help people that are in the same position you used to be! on behalf of all the “nice guys”, thank you!!
bobby
what if someone is introducing me and also could i just randomly walk up to a girl and invite her to my conversation?
I USED TO DO THIS YEARS AGO, IT WORKED LIKE A CHARM AT PARTIES, CLUBS, LOUNGES…….
THANKS FOR REMINDING ME, I THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING I WAS MISSING OUT ON.
CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU GOT FOR ME IN THE COMING DAYS.
sweet, this really works. was @ a partytoday, tried and the girl was practically into me. Thanks bobby
Bobby this question is for a a section you already went over now i think i over analyze things to much what type of subjects should i say to get sexual with a girl or should i just come out and say it
Great stuff Bobby. I think the thing I appreciate most is having some structure to be able to go through all of the stuff you’ve got.
I’m sticking with this till the end, tucking it in the inbox and can then see myself going through it all again when I need too.
My biggest issue is just coming across too needy in general – hope there’s something coming up on that. Doing my best to change my mindset at the moment but would appreciate any tips you might have on this specifically.
Hey Bob, thanks for all the advice in this program.. Anyway, I went out last night with a guy friend to grab some dinner…upon entering the room I noticed this two Hot Babes and a lesbian so the first thing that came to my mind is to approach them ( since i started this program, every chance that i got to meet pretty girls, i’m grabbing it. I already had a few success and don’t want to stop till i’m good with this).
I walk up to them and started to ask their opinion on some shit and they started to give some and we laughed while doing this..The taller chick invited me to join them so I gladly accept her request ( my buddy still don’t know what’s happening). As we continue talking, their lesbian friend looks like she’s starting to be irritated with my presence and started talking some shit to get the attention of the girls back to her…then eventually I was no longer part of the frame..so what i did was, I excuse my self to get back with my buddy and told them that I’ll come by later..but i never did till we went home…
So here’s the question, what can i possibly done on that situation so that their lesbian friend won’t have to feel like I’m stealing these girls from her?
Hit me back man..thanks for all the help..
My biggest problem is fear. It use to get me the time that I aprouch to hot girls, I am goodlooking, but I’m little out of game too… . Thing is… There is cute hot girl that works at same place I am and I’m seeing her only between our shiftes and we allways have good eye contact and tease each other and flirt a little bit, there is some wibe for shure but she is very hot and I’m afraid that she is gonna chill until I collect some balls to acctually ask for her number or go out sometimes.
Bob this program of your’s has preety much (for now) inpruved my self confidence and get offloaded that “nice guy” acces to women. Cant wait for the rest of material. Many thanks man for doing all this work for us!!
P.S. Sorry for my english, it’s my socond one. Chears!
I actually did this fast forward deal not to long ago, before I read this. I was in the mall, and I was in one of those stores that have the massaging chairs, it also has a bunch of really cool shit in it. I was in it for about 45 min. I love the store. Lol
So, a little while inside of it I found a bouncey ball that lights up when you bounce it(I had no idea at the time). I was shaking the stupid little thing. So I put it down and start looking at other stuff. I have my back to the balls and hear what sounds like some thing hitting the ground. I turn around and it was a cute girl bouncing it. Black hair, she had a lot of freckles put pulled it off, green eyes, and she was actually semi tall. Almost as tall, if not the same height as me(I’m 5′ 11″).
Since I didn’t know that the ball bounced, I asked her. I said, “Those things bounce?” In a controlled excited voice, and I said it in more of a statement, then a question. I’m pretty sure I startled her. Took her about 5 seconds to even look at me and say some thing. But as soon as she did, she put on a huge smile and and started laughing. We had a fun little 3 or 4 sentence conversation. I was walking up to her and immediately started taking steps away cause I knew that’s all I had. I was disappointed that I couldn’t figure out where to go from there. So I made motions like I was just asking the question just in passing.
And I kind of was.
But, I didn’t want to. She was laughing at what I was saying, she was eye fucking me for sure. So, I figured I would have been better to have HER think, “what if” guy, rather then see me as the bouncey ball guy who couldn’t say any thing more.
So I walked away. I put her out of my mind cause I knew I’d have bother chance with another person.
I got distracted by some thing else on my way out, looked up where she was and noticed some guy walk up and put his arms around her(boy friend). I was kinda relieved cause she would have given me the whole boy friend speech. But at the same time, I was more curious cause she was way into me despite him.
Now I just need to fix the rest of me to get past it.
i vere hape thenkyou >>>
Wow, Started teasing , it works… a beauty took my arm as we were walking (outdoors, uneven terrain) …. I sensed I need to kiss her , I escalated by taking her shoes off so she could feel the sand on the beach, told her to close her eyes first (she did) .
I came from behind and embraced her causually, and start kissing her cheek, and she got HOT : ) , then suddenly she got cold and she gently pushed me away : (
I stayed cool, and light hearted (berfore I’d get pissed off and sulk) turned out her roomate was waiting for her and her roomate had a date with her which I broke (took charge and made the girl’s mind up for her, when she was hemming an hawing about whether or not she should go out with me or roomate) before I’d say something stupid like “it’s up to you”.
There was no time to have nice fuck any way, we had dinner with roomate , but was relieved when the girl started serving me food, bringing me drinks (without asking) and she paid for dinner! She’s Asian by the way. She was being very attentive as to say she was concerned about how I feel. And asked me to call her when we all parted ways, A BIG improvement as I am going on a year of blue balls made more torturous because lots of hot girls are attracted but go cold on me cause I’m too needy.
Sorry if I am rambling on , but yes… lots of teasing , next date will throw in some role playing “sweet old uncle” as I am 46 and she id 24 and HOT ; ) My confidence and self esteem is soaring and i feel like approaching more now. Thank You Bobby, really Thank You
Hey Chase
I appreciate the feedback… and I’m glad your enjoying the program.
Bobbie – dude, where have you been all this time man? How is it I havent stumbled into your incredible and simple teachings before? I have read a lot of attraction stuff over the years and you are in my top 2 as best rated, maybe even #1, for ease of consumption, believability, and you’re just so damn likable because you do not come across as some PUA faker looking how to score a check from us guys. At the end of these 31 days, if your stuff is affordable, I’m jumping in because you have been where I’m at, and know how to get us where I want to go – great with women and happy. Plus, you make it all click…
Thanks for sharing the click Bobbie,
~CR
Never even thought of just skipping the boring intros, can’t wait to try this out.