How To Be Passionate
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Passion is one of the most universally attractive personality traits.?
In fact, it?s addictive.?
It draws people towards you like a magnet and they won?t want to let go.?
Better yet, beautiful women are the most likely to be sucked in.?
This should excite you because you?re probably passionate about something. Sports. Music. Self-development. Baklava pancakes!?
It doesn?t really matter what your passion is.?
When you?re passionate about anything, people become passionate about you.
The problem is: most guys are useless at showcasing their passion.?
They restrain themselves. They wrongly assume that people won?t like their passion, or to hear them speak about anything with too much enthusiasm. So, they adopt a safer watered-down ?chill? modest persona.?
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When you play it safe like this, people don?t become hooked on your every word. They assume you?re just another average guy.?
If it?s a hot woman at the bar, she typically tires of you within minutes.?
She leaves, never to return and learn what a jaw-droppingly unique human soul you are.??
And it?s your fault.?
Still, if you can learn to emanate passion in everything you do, you can attract an army of women doting on your every word.?
What?s more, this skill isn?t too difficult to master.?
You don?t need to have found your life?s purpose to be a passionate person, but it definitely helps.
When you have that exciting reason to get out of bed in the morning, you?ll tend to walk through life with more positivity and enthusiasm. Some people call it a zest for life. Others can sense that within you and it?s infectious. People want to be around that energy.
If you haven?t found that ?one thing? yet, go try a bunch of new things. Meet a ton of new people, visit new places, experience new cultures.
Eventually, you?ll find something that speaks to your heart. Something that fulfils you. Something you?d happily do every day without getting paid.?
Once you?ve found it, work out how you can live your passion every day. Create a plan to make it happen. Perhaps it?ll take years to fulfil, but the journey is part of the fun.
Go all in on your passion. This will help you to attract women, even if you have less time to meet them.?
Women love ambitious men. Even if they want to be the number one person in your life, they never want to be the number one thing.??
When you have a life purpose that?s more important than landing a hot date, you?ll naturally avoid all the needy behaviors that repel women. You?ll be less likely to text too often. You?ll have no interest in her mind games. You won?t care if she doesn?t text back. It?s at this point that women will start to chase you.?
As a child, you could probably speak with unlimited passion about your favorite cuddly toy or not wanting to take a bath.?
As an adult, you?re more intelligent and articulate, but you?ve probably also developed harmful mental blocks. These blocks urge you to keep your passion to yourself. Keep quiet, play it safe, fit in.????
When you feel unable to speak at full volume or express your opinions without filters, it?s due to fear.
On some level, you don?t want to be overheard. You worry that being too loud or too expressive will have consequences. You think communicating like an absolute BOSS will get you targeted by the real alpha-males of the group.
In reality, when you behave like a leader, people (and women in particular) will treat you like one.
The best way to fight past these blocks is to witness what happens when you do speak with passion.
Notice how people become more interested in you. They clamor for your attention. They want to hang out more. You crown yourself as the most interesting person in the environment, no matter where you are or what you?re talking about.?
It?s a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you communicate as if people will love what you have to say, they will. If you?re not passionate about your own words, no-one else will be.?
If you regularly approach women in bars, you?ll learn this lesson again and again. You?ll notice you pull women home when you act assertively and speak with conviction. Meanwhile, on the nights you?re unsure of yourself, no-one even wants to talk to you.?
Go out enough and you?ll train yourself to realise these filters aren?t serving you. Hopefully, this will inspire you to drop them for good.???
Sadly, it?s easier said than done. If you?re introverted or socially anxious, you may have to slowly build yourself up to communicating with full passion.?
Whether you?re shy or not, you can use these techniques to instantly come across as more passionate in your communications.
When discussing a topic you?re genuinely passionate about, you might follow these steps naturally.
But you can use them to spice up any conversation!
Try it and see for yourself. Tell people about your commute to work or what happened when you took out the trash. Watch how they still find your stories to be oddly compelling.?
Soon, you?ll see it?s the cadence – not the content – that makes something interesting.??
Once you realize this, you?ll never have a reason to ?run out of things to say? again, because you now know how to make anything sound exciting.?
Men experience attraction visually, but women experience it emotionally.?
You could tick all the logical boxes of a perfect boyfriend, but if you don?t press her emotional buttons, she won?t be excited to date you.??
Communicating with passion is mostly about adding emotion to your words, and that?s why women love it.?
It explains why women go nuts for talented musicians, artists or performers (even when they?re broke). The social proof from being the star of a show definitely helps, but the passion they put into their work is the killshot.?
Passion is a clear indicator of ambition, which is another attractive quality because it signals a willingness to work hard for success. Perhaps a wealthy future is on the way.?
There?s a sexual element at play too.?
If you?re a passionate speaker, you?re most likely a passionate lover.
When you can let go and fully express yourself conversationally, a woman can picture you doing that in the bedroom too. And that?s what leads to amazing sex.??
But if you?re timid and reserved on the date, she has no reason to be excited about sleeping with you.?
So, don?t hold back from sharing your passions with a woman, or from using these tips to make your conversations more passionate.
Unload your passion relentlessly on her! She?ll love it, and you could well be unloading something else soon after.??
Perhaps you think it?s stupid to pretend that everything is incredible or to thrill people with stories you don?t actually find exciting.?
Indeed, if you don?t truly believe in the awesomeness of your words, it can sometimes come across as fake and try-hard to present them so passionately.???
So, how can we learn to actually be enthused by our day-to-day lives, and naturally enthrall? people with our stories??
You may know a few people who seem to have a constant passion for life. Most likely, you want to spend a lot of time with them, as their attitude seems to make you more enthusiastic too.??
These super-likeable people probably engage in most of the activities mentioned in this list. If you do the same, you too can become that fun passionate person who everyone wants to be around.
How To Kill Your Ego
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Your ego is your self-perception.
A ‘big ego’ means you’re full of yourself. A ‘small ego’ means you’re full of self-doubt.
Both types of ego are powerful. Both will flood your mind with the most believable excuses and rationalisations. Both will ruin your relationships with those around you. The ego will do whatever it takes to convince you it’s right, because a smashed ego is too painful for most people to handle.
In this guide, you’ll learn why it’s better to have no ego at all – and how to successfully destroy the inner voice that tells you who you are.
A small ego tells a man he’s the type of guy women don’t want.
He’s afraid to approach women because he assumes they won’t like him. He’ll notice every possible reason not to approach, because that’s what his selective focus points out. After all, the ego controls not only how we see ourselves, but how we see the world around us.
If he does approach, he’s oh-so-cautious. Every facet of his body language signals he expects to get blown out.
He’s quiet. He’s apologetic. He never tells jokes, makes polarising statements or does anything to truly express himself. In fact, he’ll often do all he can to hide his true personality, because his ego tells him his true personality is awful.
This creates nervous energy, which makes everyone around him feel nervous. Naturally, people want to avoid this. So they avoid him.
Even if a woman is showing clear signs that she likes him, the man with a small ego won’t push the interaction forward. There’ll be no flirting, inviting her to the bar or swapping contact details. His ego tells him she won’t like that.
He might see her laughing at his jokes and touching him excessively, but his ego won’t perceive it as flirting. It must be something else. Maybe she’s joking. Maybe she’s just being friendly. There’s no way women could ever like him.
Whatever it takes to convince him it’s right.
A big ego tells a man he’s the type of guy all women want.
The problem is: most men with big egos also tend to have fragile egos, meaning they’ll do anything to protect it.
A man with a big ego often refrains from approaching women, because getting rejected would harm his self-image.
He’ll notice every possible reason not to approach. Often, he’ll tell himself she’s not good enough, even though he’d be thrilled if she threw herself at him.
If he does approach, he’ll often do it in a friendly or overly crude manner, at least initially. That way, if it turns to shit, he can tell himself he wasn’t really trying.
Now, if the woman flirts with him first, he feels free to release his brash and gregarious side, which women do tend to find attractive. They want a man who believes in himself, after all. But this character is also prone to deliberately self-sabotaging if she starts to lose interest.
The big ego guy is rarely the type to act a bit goofy or self-deprecate, even if it would raise the mood of everyone around him. He’s unlikely to run through a crowded mall for a daygame approach. Nor will he chase down the woman who liked him when he spots her leaving the club, even if doing so could easily get him laid.
He might see that he never gets the hottest women in his city or that he barely approaches them, but his ego won’t perceive it as his weakness. It must be something else. These women must be stuck-up or stupid. It’s never the right moment to approach. There’s no way women could ever not like him.
Whatever it takes to convince him it’s right.
The man with no ego truly doesn’t care what other people think of him.
He just goes for what he wants. A woman’s reaction has no impact on his self-image. If other people see, it doesn’t matter what they think either.
If he’s a bit introverted, he’s not embarrassed to ‘warm up’ his social side by making smalltalk with uncool people. He’s also unlikely to be intimidated by the hotties behind the VIP rope.
When he does approach a woman, there’s no inner monologue questioning whether he’s “good enough” or “too good” for her. He just focuses on the moment and his end goal.
He doesn’t hide his personality, for fear she won’t like it. He doesn’t care if she doesn’t like it. At the same time, he’s not going to refrain from apologising, making dumb jokes, chasing or making a move if the situation warrants it. He’s present with women. He’ll usually see if she likes him and act accordingly. These qualities make him great to be around.
At the same time, the man with “no ego” has no issue with learning from his mistakes, or seeking advice from someone better than him. He appreciates there will always be someone better than him and always something to learn in most fields. As such, he’s the one who learns the fastest and becomes the best.
Now you understand the benefits of killing your ego, let’s explore some methods of doing so.
Then, find 10 more the next day, and so on. You probably won’t sleep or even swap contact details with all of them. This will crush a big ego. But it’ll also prove there’s plenty for you to learn when it comes to seduction. Hopefully, it will motivate you to start learning from your mistakes, improving and ultimately dating better women.
If you have a small ego, it’s likely that at least one of the women treated you better than you were expecting. Take that experience as motivation to keep approaching and keep learning too.
Your immediate social circle will drag you to their level of success, whether that’s up or down. As Jim Rohn famously said: “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
So, it would make sense to surround yourself with successful people, right?
Most people have too much of an ego to do so. It reminds them of their shortcomings – and that’s too painful. They’d rather be the big fish in the small pond.
Recognise if you’re that big fish. If so, seek new friends who are stronger than you, hang out and learn from them.
Before long, you’ll be on the same level.
By definition, comfort zone exercises make you feel a little bit silly.
Classic examples include lying on a busy sidewalk for one minute, wearing fancy dress or standing in public with a sign saying “free hugs”.
It could be something smaller like singing karaoke or practicing a new skill in front of a big group.
In all of these scenarios, you’ll notice that people don’t care what you’re doing as much as you thought they would. Even if they did care, they almost never share their opinions. Then, they probably forget about it moments afterwards
Hopefully that inspires you to live your life with no inhibitions, because no-one really cares what you do anyway.
A small ego usually stems from a lack of validation in childhood. Maybe you were the victim of neglectful parents, school bullies or a mean teenage crush. Those experiences were so painful that you now avoid criticism at all costs
Alternatively, a big ego grows from being overly validated. Maybe you were spoiled as a child, or grew up rich and famous. Those experiences made criticism so foreign that you now avoid it at all costs.
Either way, it’s clear that being affected by others’ validation is unhealthy. So, why not try ignoring other people’s opinions altogether? Stop doing things to impress other people and focus on impressing yourself.
This becomes far easier when you have a life mission that’s so important and exciting, you’d do it regardless of what anyone else thought.
In this case, when you take a step towards achieving that goal, that’s all you need to feel great about yourself..
When you meditate, you train yourself to remove all thoughts. You learn to exist in the present moment. There is no past and no future. As such, there is no past or future ‘self’ to create a narrative around. There is just right now.
Frequent meditators find it easier to stay in the present moment when approaching and talking to women, rather than being plagued by thoughts of fear or insecurity.
So, find a quiet space, set a timer to count 20 minutes, and use that time to practice focusing on your breathing and nothing else.
It has been argued that it’s impossible to completely eliminate your ego, as humans will always be conscious beings with thoughts and memories.
Still, hopefully this guide has highlighted the reasons to try these exercises and quieten your ego as much as possible, whether it’s big or small.
How To Improve Your Social Skills Every Day
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Charisma is one of the most attractive qualities a man can possess, and it?s learnable!
You can be broke, short or ugly and still attract amazing women into your life, if you take the time to improve your social skills.
That?s because there?s nothing more important to a woman than how you make her feel.
If you can learn how to induce the right emotions inside a woman, she?ll often be yours for the taking.?
The thing is: so few men make an effort to work on their social skills.?
A lot of guys underestimate the impact that a bit of ?game? can have on the opposite sex. Instead, they choose to believe that women are only interested in tall, handsome rich men.?
This naivety is leading millions of men without good looks or wealth to desperately mediocre dating lives.
The seduction industry is based on the fact that men can learn to become infinitely more attractive to women. They just need to tweak how they behave around them.?
In this guide, you?ll learn four basic steps to improving your social skills and attracting more beautiful women into your life.?
These four steps might sound simple, but they are honestly all you need to skyrocket your social skills to elite levels.?
Whatever your social goal is, the secret to success is the same. Approach as much as you can.?
This is crucial whether you?re trying to make friends, sell products, get women into bed or anything else.
It?s the same as any skill; the more you practice, the better you get.?
That?s why they?re called social skills.
As simple as it sounds, this is the step that most people can?t get past. Because when you approach a lot of people, you?ll inevitably meet some who don?t want to talk. You?ll stumble into? embarrassing situations. You?ll receive some harsh rejections.??
It takes thick skin to regularly practice cold-approach, but the juice is worth the squeeze.?
Ultimately, you?ll learn that rejection is no big deal, no-one really cares what you?re doing, most of your excuses are BS and other valuable life lessons.
Few people are naturally skilled at cold-approaching.
Due to nerves or having no idea what to do, your first few approaches will probably fall flat.
That?s fine, provided you learn from your mistakes and get better.??
The most effective way to do this is to get help. You can pay for the services of a dating coach, who will push you into conversations with women, listen in and tell you how to improve next time. Failing that, you can try to find a wingman who is willing to offer feedback for free.
Dating coaches will often recommend you write down analyses of your interactions, listing what you did well and what you can do better in future. This helps to cement the lessons in your mind and prevent you from making the same mistakes again.
Fear is the number one factor that will prevent you from improving your social skills.
With every action you haven?t tried before, the nerves will return.
You must feel the fear and do it anyway.
With enough experience, you?ll expand your comfort zone and the scary situation will become normal.
In a dating context, you might initially be terrified to approach a woman sober during the daytime.???
Do this enough times and it?ll become less intimidating, but perhaps you?ll still worry about approaching women in groups.
What about if she?s standing with a man? What about the ?perfect 10? in the VIP section of the club? Or approaching in a busy coffee shop?
The solution to mastering all of these scenarios is to dive in. Perhaps you won?t succeed initially, but it?ll rarely be as scary as you expected.?
So, you?ll feel free to learn from your mistakes and do better next time, just like anything else. Before you know it, you?ll be a master.?
Then, you?ll have to learn to deal with women accusing you of being a ?player? or a ?fuckboy?. These are high-quality problems ;).
Staying sober is key for actually noticing the mistakes you make. More importantly, it?s crucial for improving your everyday confidence. Liquid courage doesn?t last, so stay away from the booze if you?re serious about making permanent improvements to your personality.?
A lot of men who understand that charismatic guys get laid still won?t take the steps needed to build their social skills. Their ego won?t let them.
They don?t want to get rejected by hundreds of women, even if it means sleeping with hundreds more.
They?re too proud to be taught something which society believes is supposed to come naturally to men.
Maybe you?re too embarrassed to take the steps listed above?
If so, the question to ask is: how badly do you want to date amazing women??
If you follow these steps consistently for a few months, you?ll be more competent with women than most dudes. Stick at it for a couple of years and you could be enjoying a dating life beyond your wildest dreams.?
Is that worth a bit of discomfort? Or would you prefer to keep the dating life you have now?
Because, unless you make lasting changes to your social skills, your levels of success with women will never improve.
How To Deal With Being Disliked
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To be LOVED by some people, you have to risk being hated by others.
That’s because the easiest way to be loved is to shamelessly embrace the unique aspects of your personality.
Whatever makes you laugh, whatever makes you smile, whatever annoys you, share it without filters. Follow your passions relentlessly.
When you do this, it becomes easier to find women attracted to your personality.
And they won’t just like it. They’ll LOVE it.
Look at the most popular musicians in history; Elvis Presley. Michael Jackson. Freddie Mercury. Eminem. Kanye West. These are just five examples of artists who turned certain aspects of their personality up to 100.
That’s why their fans absolutely ADORED them.
Sure, they attracted haters too. To this day, a lot of people make fun of them. Some people despise them.
That’s the price of embracing the extremes of your character. But it’s a price worth paying.
Because this is the way to make people truly care about you.
The funny thing is: most people do the opposite of this.
Most people try to hide the quirky parts of their personality. They keep their head down, take no risks and try to blend in with society.
They filter themselves to try and be liked by everyone.
And it works to an extent…
When you suppress your true self, everyone thinks you’re ‘kind-of OK’. They’ll call you a ‘nice guy’. Nobody hates you. They have no reason to.
But no-one is truly excited to hang out with you either. For sure, no hotties will be queuing up to date you.
To attract a beautiful woman, you need to wow her. How are you meant to do that by trying to fit in?
You can’t.
Instead, you need to embrace your uniqueness, share your feelings and make peace with the fact that it might annoy some people.
Ignoring the haters is easier said than done.
It naturally feels uncomfortable to be disliked by one person – and the idea of attracting groups of haters can be truly terrifying.
This fear is biological. It can be traced back to the era when humans used to live in small tribes. Back then, if you fell out with a few people, you could have been outcast from the tribe, meaning no food and certain death.
Nowadays, we don’t face that level of risk, but the inherent fears remain.
These fears can be more prevalent if you were scorned by parents or school bullies when expressing yourself as a child. If this happened to you, acknowledging it can be a great first step to overcoming this fear.
We’ll explore a wide variety of ways to deal with it later. But, the simplest way is to look at it logically.
What’s the worst that could happen if someone doesn’t like you?
If you’re approaching a woman in a bar or on the street in a big city, the chances of ever seeing her again are minimal. The odds of her affecting your reputation among others are even smaller.
If you’re trying to make something happen with a woman at your gym, your school or especially in your workplace, it’s a different story. In fact, it’s actually smart to play it safe in these scenarios, at least initially.
But, in the wider world, there’s no logical reason to fear being disliked any more.
The ‘nice guy’, who does all he can to not be disliked, struggles to attract women.
This is largely because he fails to make an emotional impact. He’s too predictable. He doesn’t excite anyone.
But it’s also because he barely shoots his shot with women, for fear of offending them.
Instead, he’ll wait politely in her vicinity, issuing compliments, offering favors and hoping she eventually makes the first move.
The irony of this behaviour is that lots of people actually find it deplorable.
In most cases, it’s extremely see-through. Humans can often sense when someone’s words and actions don’t match their true intentions.
Perhaps we don’t always know what they really want, but we can feel when something is ‘off’.
It makes us uncomfortable, even if we’re not sure why.
It’s difficult to ‘like’ anyone who makes us feel that way. At most, we tolerate them.
Then, if we ever discover they were only being nice to get something, we often feel upset, betrayed or even angry.
So, the nice guy still fails his mission of not being disliked.
In fact, he’s just as likely to be hated as the obnoxious loudmouth who proudly shares his opinions with the world.
After all, we tend to respect people who are honest about who they are and what they want.
Even the ‘player’ that’s transparent about only wanting casual sex.
Sure, not all women will sleep with a fuckboy, but it’s hard to get angry at him if he’s honest and respectful about it.
So, even if you fear being disliked, you’re still better off being true to yourself.
You’ll earn more people’s respect – and you may end up getting what you actually want.
You’re not running for President. You don’t need the majority of people to like you. Politicians are the only individuals who truly benefit from trying to appeal to everyone.
But what if you’re trying to:
In all of these scenarios, you gain nothing from someone thinking you’re ‘kind-of OK’. You also lose nothing if someone outside your target niche really dislikes you.
To make these situations happen, you need to attract people in your target niche and make them LOVE you.
Inevitably, this will turn some people off.
So, let’s now explore five ideas to help you deal with the fear of being disliked.
If you fear being disliked, you probably don’t tease people enough.
Perhaps you think it’s rude or offensive. The truth is: good friends tease each other all the time. It’s a clear indicator that two people are comfortable around each other.
When you tease someone, it’s a sign you’re comfortable in their presence. You don’t feel below them. You’re on their level.
Most high-status men and beautiful women prefer when others act this way around them. It’s more enjoyable than people constantly treading on eggshells or chasing their approval, like they’re used to.
To tease properly, keep it fun and light-hearted. Joke about minor things or stuff that isn’t actually true. Smile, so they know you’re kidding. Keep eye contact so you notice if you went too far.
Try it for yourself. When done properly, you’ll notice most people have more fun in your presence.
Maybe you’ll offend a few who take themselves too seriously, but then you’ll learn this isn’t the end of the world. These people are the definition of boring. You don’t need them in your life.
If anyone mentions a hobby you dislike, tell them.
Don’t hold back either. Exaggerate your hatred for comic effect. Let them know exactly how stupid you find it. Make fun of it.
Remember the basic principles of teasing, and focus on the activity itself, not the people who enjoy it.
This will lead to more fun and engaging debates. You’ll also notice how most other people aren’t offended by an opposing opinion, as long as it’s presented in a fun way.
Most people don’t talk about their passions as much as they should. More commonly, they play down their love for it, because they fear it may bore or upset other people.
That’s a shame, because speaking passionately about your interests is an effective way to attract like-minded people into your life.
People who had no interest in that thing are still likely to admire and respect your passion too.
The following exercise is designed to show you that; film yourself talking about your biggest passion and post it on social media. Do it on live stream if you’re brave enough.
In most cases, around 95% of your followers will ignore it, 4% will LOVE IT and maybe 1% will leave a rude comment.
It’s worth sifting through the 96% to find the 4% of people who vibe with you, and that’s true outside of social media too.
The more you find, the less the haters will bother you.
Hopefully, this exercise teaches you to embrace your passions more often.
If you fear being disliked, you’ll fear asking for the things you really want. You either ask in a defensive apologetic manner that’s easy to reject, or you don’t ask at all.
That means you get way less out of life. It’s so unnecessary.
To prove this, try making ambitious requests of people.
Go to a cafe and ask someone to buy you a coffee. Haggle over the price of everything. At the end of a mediocre date, invite her back to yours anyway.
Do your best to ask as assertively as possible. Assume the best.
This exercise will show that rejection isn’t as embarrassing as you imagine.
More importantly, you’ll learn how much you can get when you ask in a confident manner.
This skill could well be one of the most important for improving your dating and professional life. Nearly every successful man has a story of shooting his shot, having no idea if it would work, and being pleasantly surprised.
If you’re a guy who had to work on building self-confidence, you probably have several of these stories.
You may even find that people like you better when you ask them for things. This phenomenon is called the ‘Ben Franklin’ effect and has been backed by scientific research, so there’s no reason to fear making requests of others at all.
When you’re always doing favors for people, they take you for granted. They take advantage of you. They respect you less. You’re a doormat.
When you’re not afraid to say ‘no’, people respect you more. They work harder to win your approval. They appreciate it more when you say yes. You’re an important person who values his time and sticks to his personal boundaries.
So, start saying no to things you don’t want to do.
Not only will you not have to do them, but you’ll be treated better in life overall.
We all know at least one person who doesn’t seem to care what people think of them. Even if they annoy us a bit, we probably respect them on some level. Perhaps we wish we could be a bit more like them.
Men with this type of attitude portray a sense of confidence that women find irresistible.
But that’s not the only reason to shed the fear of being disliked.
This fear can ruin your chances of success in any field, but only if you let it.
Get started with these fear-busting exercises today, and you’ll be well on your way to a more fulfilling and pleasurable life.
How To Avoid Arguments In A Relationship
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Arguments are the worst part of having a girlfriend or a wife.?
However, they are almost inevitable.?
In fact, they are part of a healthy relationship. You shouldn?t be trying to avoid arguments with your partner.?
In this guide, you’ll learn how to limit unnecessary arguments in your relationship, how to disagree in a healthy way and quickly come to resolutions that satisfy both of you.
If you?re not having any disagreements in a long-term relationship, it usually means one of two things.?
The first option is not worth it at all. Not only will a woman walk all over you if you let her, but she?ll also usually tire of having a spineless partner and leave anyway.??
This second option might seem great to you, but you should know that this woman is eventually going to be frustrated with feeling unheard and disrespected. This will cause future conflict, and she?ll eventually pluck up the courage to leave you for someone who respects her opinions.?
So, the solution to a happy long-term relationship isn?t to avoid disagreements. It?s to have them in the right way.?
There are two types of arguments that occur between a couple.?
Competitive arguments are simply a matter of strength and willpower. The partner with the most power in the relationship will eventually win. This is the partner who is the least scared of breaking up.
Still, the loser of these arguments nearly always walks away feeling more frustrated and resentful. As such, they?ll usually cause more conflict and eventually leave.
With collaborative arguments, both partners are likely to ?win? as often as the other. In reality, both feel like winners because the resolution leads to a more balanced and happy relationship, where they both feel respected and cared for.
Needless to say, if you want a healthy long-term relationship, you need to be having collaborative arguments. Always consider what resolution is best for the relationship as a whole. Whenever you?re making your point, make it clear that you?re doing this.?
If your partner refuses to argue collaboratively, it could be that she senses you?re scared of her leaving you, and will fold to her demands. This might seem like the easy option, but she will continue to do so if she can get away with it.
If she only ever acts in her own interests, you need to leave.?
You should strive for a relationship where your woman doesn?t see you as spineless – and is a bit afraid of a break-up because you?re just that awesome.
However, instead of taking advantage of her, you should still encourage her to share what she needs from you – and to let her have her way if it?s best for the relationship as a whole.
When you have the power but don?t abuse it, that?s the formula for a long-lasting relationship.???
How To Fix Power Dynamics In Your Relationship
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A healthy long-lasting relationship has balanced power dynamics.?
If your power dynamics are out of whack for too long, the relationship will fall apart. Or even worse, you?ll stay trapped in a toxic relationship.???
You may not have heard the term, but you can be sure that power dynamics play a crucial role in keeping you and your partner happy.
In this guide, you?ll learn what power dynamics are, how to identify if your power dynamics are healthy and how to fix a relationship with mismatched power dynamics.?
?Power dynamics? is essentially a fancy term to describe the power within any personal relationship.
When there is a decision to make involving both people in the relationship, the person with more power will tend to get their way.
In a relationship with balanced power dynamics, couples will make decisions based on what?s best for the relationship to thrive. Naturally, that means both parties will get their way from time to time.
In unbalanced relationships, decisions are made based on what makes the more powerful person happy.???
In extreme cases of a power imbalance, one person will agree to things that make them miserable in order to please their partner.?
You might think you?d prefer to be the more powerful person in an unbalanced relationship, but most emotionally healthy women will quickly grow to resent you. Conflict will arise more often, leaving both of you miserable in the relationship, until one of you breaks it off.?
A power imbalance is most likely to occur from one person being more afraid of the relationship ending.?
That person becomes more likely to concede ground in disagreements, even at the expense of their own happiness.
For a power imbalance to cause a problem, it requires the more powerful person to take advantage of their partner?s weakness. This is a toxic thing to do, plus it?ll lead to the end of the relationship if it goes on long enough.
How can I spot a power imbalance in a relationship?
In a truly toxic couple, the more powerful person will gaslight their partner into believing it?s a balanced relationship.
The more powerful partner may rationalise this behaviour to themselves – and be convinced that nothing is wrong when their other half is secretly building more inner resentment towards them.?
Ask yourself these questions to determine whether you?re in a balanced relationship or not.?
If you answered ?No? to any of these questions, that?s a clear sign of unbalanced power dynamics within your relationship – and it should become clear who has more power too.?
The 2-step strategy to avoid becoming the weak half of a couple is: be prepared to speak up if your partner oversteps one of your boundaries – and willing to walk away if she doesn?t fix the problem.?
Yes, it?s reasonable to give her a warning and a second chance if she suggests or does something unacceptable.
But a lot of guys aren?t even willing to do that – and even more won?t follow through if she does overstep the boundary again.?
The men who struggle with this tend to have a scarcity-based mindset when it comes to dating. They hate the thought of being single – and fear that they?ll never find a partner as good as the one they managed to lock down. So, they stay in a relationship where the woman wears the pants.?
Ironically, in relationships where women hold the power, they tend to lose all respect and attraction for the man. So, she?ll most likely walk away or cheat on him even if he provides everything she could possibly want.
That?s why it?s recommended for men to learn how to be attractive to women in general, before settling into a monogamous relationship. The knowledge that you could replace your partner with someone equally good will naturally make it easier to stand up for yourself within the relationship.?
If it?s your girlfriend or wife who has less power, this is much easier to fix. Simply take a few moments to consider her feelings when making decisions. Encourage her to speak up for herself. Help her to build her self-confidence. Make it clear you respect her opinions.???
How To Slide In The DMs
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Sliding in the DMs of Instagram models isn?t as impossible as everyone says.
You can get these stunning women to respond and meet you for a date, if you message them the right way.?
It?s not just about the type of message you send though. There are a few other things to bear in mind???
Read on to discover an incredibly effective method for sliding in a woman?s DMs.
If you can inspire her to follow you or message you first, this whole task will be a lot easier.?
When she completes either of these actions, your first messages will pop up in her primary inbox -? and she’ll get a notification of it.?
Without a follow or a previous message sent by her, you’ll appear in her ‘Message Requests’ inbox – where it’s far more likely to be drowned out by hundreds of messages from other guys she has never met.?
That’s why before you slide in that hottie?s DMs, it’s recommended to complete the following actions…
This profile should instantly communicate that you’re a fun guy with an active lifestyle and (even better) indicate that you have something valuable to offer her. Perhaps you’re a photographer, nightclub promoter, fashion show organiser. Maybe you’re incredibly wealthy! These are a few examples of valuable traits that would catch the attention of a beautiful young woman.?
If you don?t have any of these things yourself, maybe you can make a connection with someone who does. Whatever value you’re planning to offer, your bio and main feed needs to communicate this instantly.
If you have a ‘normal’ profile packed with pictures of you hanging out with your buddies, this strategy is far less likely to work (unless you’re incredibly attractive).
Don’t leave thirsty comments. You need to stand out from all the simps doing that. Instead, leave useful comments. Perhaps you?ll share some travel tips about whatever location she has tagged herself in. Maybe you’re making genuine comments on how and where to make better photos in that location. It could be that you’re answering the questions she asks in her caption.
Ideally, these comments are helping to communicate whatever value you’re offering. So, a photographer would know the best place to shoot photos nearby, a promoter would know the best places to party etc.
You can reply to her stories too, although this is less likely to be noticed.?
Either way, don’t ask her to DM or follow you until she responds to a comment.??
She’ll be notified of this, which could inspire her to check out your profile and follow back.?
This is most effective when she has already responded to your comment(s).?
Yes, there are probably hundreds of opening messages that have successfully caught a woman?s attention. (The more value your profile shows, the less effort you have to put into your opening message).?
Still, it?s most highly recommended to lead with whatever value you have decided to offer. You?re not the type of guy who has time to mess around with smalltalk, especially if you?re planning to connect with hundreds of IG models at the same time.
And yes, you should be planning to do this. Stack the odds in your favor.
Make a video message inviting each model to an event that showcases your value. If you?re a photographer, it?s a photoshoot. If you?re a promoter, it?s an exclusive party. Now, blast it to all the women who have followed you back.
Keep the message short and simple. Explain who you are, what the event is and that you?d like like to invite her. Tell her to DM you if she wants to come.??
Video messages are great, because they can showcase your confidence and inspire trust far better than words on the screen. Consider shooting the video in a picturesque location and (if you have time) make a separate video for each woman including her first name.
If they reply, transition to WhatsApp, Telegram or another messaging app where they only talk to people they know. Now you?ve separated yourself from every other desperate DM slider.??
You?ll need to run a fun and professional event, but you want to be the life of the party too. Make a personal connection with all the women. Let them see that you?re the boss of this environment and that everyone answers to you. This is incredibly attractive and will surely leave a lasting impression on these women.?
Maybe you won?t even flirt too aggressively with any of them at this event. But if you?ve done a great job of presenting yourself as a leader with tons of social proof, you can bet a lot of these women will be throwing themselves at you, even if you have to wait another day to date them one-on-one.
Make sure to take plenty of photos at your event and add them to your Instagram profile to prove you?re the real deal. Now, when you throw your next event, it will be even easier to attract even more gorgeous women to come along.??
This might seem like a lot of effort on the front end, but once you get the ball rolling, you?re going to have so many amazing women becoming desperate to hang out with you. Social proof is a powerful attraction trigger – and you?re going to have a ton of it.??
Also, if you want to attract gorgeous IG models with thousands of followers into your life, you have to present some sort of value that?s relevant to them. There?s no other way to do it that?s anywhere near as effective.?
If you?re new to the idea of meeting women through social media, you can learn the basics in our extensive guide on how to attract women using Instagram.
How To Stop Worrying What Other People Think Of You
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It’s one of life’s great ironies. The moment you stop worrying what other people think of you, it begins to transpire that most people LOVE you.
Sure, you might pick up a few more haters along the way. But you’re done caring what they think anyway. It’s a win-win.
You better believe this applies in modern dating.
Beautiful women are so used to men doing whatever they can to impress them. It becomes predictable. Unimpressive. Almost repulsive.
When you need someone to like you, it reeks of insecurity.
When you don’t care what other people think, it communicates incredible self-confidence.
It also creates uncertainty about whether you want her, which gives her space to chase you. This is crucial for seducing the highest-quality women.
Humans are social creatures. Being disliked by just one person is uncomfortable. Being ostracised by society is one of our greatest fears. In some cases, this can force us to miss out on friendships, relationships or professional opportunities.
That’s why it’s not possible to simply ‘stop worrying’.
However, there are a few actions you can take to gradually reduce the amount of damns you give about other people’s opinions.
There are four powerful ideas listed below.
When you think highly of yourself, it’s rarer that you’ll be affected by other people’s opinions.
You might be confused as to why they don’t like you. You might think they’re a bit silly. But it won’t impact your self-image.
Hopefully, you can accept that they’re ‘not your kind of person’ – and that this is totally fine.
Here are some of our favourite self-esteem boosting exercises.
When you do something that potentially makes you look silly in public, a few great things happen.
A great example of this is running daygame. As long as you’re genuine and empathetic, women will often thank you for being brave enough to speak to them.
Plus, even if a comfort zone exercise embarrasses you, that still serves to kill your ego.
Your ego is the voice inside your head telling you: “You’re too cool/important/professional to do that.”
Once you disprove this voice, you’re free to do whatever you actually want with your life.
When you have a solid idea of what you want from life and an unbreakable desire to make it happen, other people’s opinions become irrelevant.
How much time do you think the world’s greatest entrepreneurs spend listening to people who make fun of them?
How about the world’s most powerful politicians?
Even your favourite dating coaches probably have tons of haters, or loved ones begging them to quit.
All these people are polarising characters, but they’re far too focused on their life’s mission to care what haters think. And that’s why they’re successful.
If you’re contemplating giving up your passion, you’re not passionate enough. So, maybe you should give up and find something you truly care about.
Or perhaps you should grow a pair of balls and focus on living your best life.
Whatever you do, don’t become that elderly person who was too afraid to achieve what they wanted. That’s one of the biggest regrets of the dying.
Let’s look at some of the most successful and beloved entertainers of the modern era. Eminem. Michael Jackson. David Bowie. George Michael. Elton John. Freddy Mercury. Kanye West.
Even these guys still had a lot of people hating or laughing at them.
It’s impossible to play it safe, please everybody and still be successful.
If you want to be a somebody, your best bet is to be unapologetically yourself and let the chips fall where they may.
I asked one of my writing mentors Matt Rudnitsky how he deals with fear of criticism.
He said: “The best antidote is a regular publishing schedule. You realize: Most people don’t give a crap about what you write. And a few do, and they’re almost all positive.
“94% of people ignore you, 5% thank you, and 1% spew irrational hatred so stupid that you can’t take it seriously. They have sticks up their butts.”
But perhaps you’re not a writer…
Maybe you’re a performer, a business owner or an international playboy.
The message remains the same.
Follow your dreams with such intensity that you don’t have time to care what anyone else thinks.
The more genuine you are, the more of this 94% will fall into the ‘love’ or ‘hate’ categories.
But that’s more crucial in the modern day than ever!
High-level people have more choice than ever as far as who they spend their time with.
They won’t want to hire you, buy your product or even hang out with you if they just think you’re ‘kind of OK’.
And they definitely won’t want to date you!
Beautiful women now have an incredibly vast choice of suitors, thanks to online dating and social media.
So, you have to make an impact!
It’s not enough to be a run-of-the-mill guy anymore. You need to be uniquely and unapologetically awesome. Whatever that looks like to you.
To do that, you have to stop worrying whether people think you’re weird.
It’s a long journey – but hopefully these tips will help you reach that state of mind.
How To Find Love: 5 Steps To Getting Your Dream Woman
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Are you on the hunt for a long-term relationship?
Perhaps you are reaching the age where you want to find that special woman to start a family with?
Well, if you haven’t found her already, it might be that you’re making a few mistakes in your pursuit.
It may well be that you’ve elevated your game to attract some good women into your life.
But when you’re looking for a woman who’s ‘wifey’ material, there are a few extra steps you need to take.
Below is a list of five important steps you need to take to maximise your chances of finding your “happily ever after”.
This might sound obvious, but a lot of guys don’t take the time to decide what qualities they actually want in a long-term partner.
Too many men are happy to settle for the basic bitch criteria:
This is probably fine for a one-night stand or even a casual relationship (in fact, perhaps some dudes will settle for only 1 out of 3), but surely you need more to put a ring on someone’s finger?
The question is: what do you need?
Write down at least 4 of 5 non-negotiable qualities that your dream woman must have – then stop spending time with women who don’t have these traits.
If you’re serious about finding your true partner, you don’t have that time to waste.
Honestly, this exercise is important whether you’re looking to settle down or just date casually. Women want to date men who have standards. By screening to see if she has the right personality for you, you create the space for her to chase you.
This is essential when trying to win over high-quality women.
Now you know what type of partner you want, it’s time to consider what kind of guy that she will typically be interested in.
You don’t have to alter your whole personality to attract specific types of women, but there are certain changes you could make to boost the odds of her being attracted to you.
For example:
Makes sense, right?
And, of course, this pursuit of your dream woman becomes a lot easier when you have nailed all the fundamentals of what makes an attractive man.
The more women you’re out meeting, the higher the likelihood of you bumping into the perfect one for you.
If you’re not currently meeting the types of women you’re most into, perhaps you need to ask yourself where this type of woman likes to hang out.
Sure, you might meet a classy, well-educated graduate at an illegal drum-and-bass rave, but there are plenty of spots where you’re more likely to meet them.
Our guide on the best places to meet women might provide some inspiration.
A lot of guys remain in the ‘fuckboy’ phase for longer than they would like, because they are scared to become emotionally close to a woman.
Often, there is some trauma from the past that causes this.
Maybe you’ve felt it in the past, then subconsciously sabotaged a potential relationship with a great woman.
Well, if you have, it’s time to be aware of this behaviour. More importantly, it’s time to stop it!
To experience true love, you have to learn to trust this one special woman with your heart. Yes, you’re risking a painful heartbreak when you do this – but that’s the risk you have to take!
Once you choose a woman and she chooses you, love her without holding back. Hopefully, you’ve chosen a woman capable of doing the same.
Sometimes you’ll date a woman and not fall in love with her. That’s OK.
Occasionally, you will fall in love, think a woman is perfect for you, then realise she isn’t. That’s also OK.
However, it’s not OK to waste time in a relationship you know isn’t right for you.
A lot of guys do this because they’re scared of being lonely and don’t believe they can do any better.
But they’re only prolonging their misery by sticking around in an unsatisfying relationship.
And by doing so, you’re giving yourself even less time to find a woman who is right for you.
You only have a limited amount of time being young and sexually relevant.
So, when you know that a relationship isn’t right for you (and deep down, you always know) then get out quickly!
It’s a brave step to take – but it’s better than settling for mediocre. Most mediocre relationships end up dying a slow and miserable death, anyway.
Finding true love isn’t easy. You’ll meet a lot of bad eggs and probably get your heart broken a few times. But it’s those who refuse to settle for mediocre that end up getting their happy ending.
How To Get Physical On A Date
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You absolutely need to get physical on a first date. If you don?t make any sort of move on her, she?s going to think that:?
Neither of these conclusions will inspire her to want to see you again.?
However, if you push things forward too quickly, this could also put her off for a number of reasons.?
In this guide, we?ll explore how to physically escalate at the correct speed on a first date.
Here?s a basic principle to remember: start small and escalate at a pace she?s comfortable with.
You can begin the date with innocent, non-obtrusive physical gestures.?
Here are some ideas:?
Whenever you?re physical with her, pay attention to her response. She?ll respond in one of three ways and it?s important that you react in the right manner.?
In most cases, the more time you spend with her, the more comfortable she becomes with you, the more open she?ll be to getting physical.
Here are some ideas for more daring moves to make after stacking these ?yes? responses.?
Keep receiving ?yes? responses? Then, by all means ramp up the escalation even faster.?
Hopefully this all turns her on enough for you to be able to pull her home and get even more physical in the bedroom.?
Some women take longer to open up than others, and it?s not always a reflection of how she feels about you.
It could be that she doesn?t want to get too physical in public and feel judged by the people around her.??
In this situation, it?s still recommended to proceed with whatever physical gestures she is comfortable with. You can also flirt verbally.
On a date like this, it?s still relatively common that she?ll agree to come to your place, provided she likes you. Often, you?ll find she opens up once you?re in a more private setting.?
The biggest mistake that men make on the first date is not making enough moves.
This mistake typically stems from the fear of going for a kiss (or making some other daring physical gesture) and being rejected.?
The date won?t be ruined if you do this (provided you don?t react like it?s a big deal). It just means you?re going a tiny bit too fast. In fact, if you?re unflustered by her rejection, this can make her like you more. Non-neediness is attractive.
However, a date will be ruined if you don?t try and get physical enough with her.?
If a woman gets dressed up for a date, she wants you to try and push things forward. Aim to at least try and kiss her or take her back to your place on the first date. Give her the chance to say yes or no. If she turns you down, she?ll at least respect that you have the confidence to go for what you want.?
She?ll rarely think you?re a gentleman for not making a move. In most cases, she’ll feel annoyed, frustrated and in no mood to risk feeling like that at the end of a second date.?
With that said, it is still in your best interests not to stack too many ?no? responses in a row. This can make you come across as a socially unaware creep.
By starting with these innocent gestures and moving forwards slowly, there is no reason for you to do that.?
One of the most effective methods of inviting a woman back to your place is to come up with an innocent excuse for her to come.
Maybe it?s to watch a movie. Perhaps it?s one last drink after closing time. It could be that you want to show her something awesome in your house.??
Deep down, you both know that this could lead to sex, That excuse gives her the plausible deniability that ?one thing led to another? and ?it just happened?. There was still some mystery as to whether it would actually happen or not. This is enough to prevent most women from feeling guilty about being too easy.?
However, getting too sexual at the date location can kill this mystery.?
If you?ve been playing tonsil-tennis at the bar for hours, then invite her back to yours, it becomes too obvious that you?re going to try and have sex with her. It ruins her plausible deniability, and makes it harder for her to go with you (presuming she cares about her reputation as a ?good girl?).
With this in mind, the best strategy is to escalate a bit, then invite her back to yours where you can go all the way.?
Getting physical on a date can be intimidating. In many cases, you have no idea how she?ll respond and it?s never nice to be turned down.
Hopefully the following facts will comfort you.?
Have fun out there!
8 Essential Dating Tips For Older Men
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It is absolutely possible for you to date younger women well into your 40s, 50s and beyond.?
In fact, you can be more desirable than ever to beautiful women in your later years, as long as you prepare for them correctly.
This guide contains 8 essential dating tips to help older men date younger women.?
Your appearance isn?t everything when it comes to attracting beautiful women.
Women are more attracted to qualities such as confidence, charisma, power, status, wealth, intelligence and leadership skills.?
Indeed, it?s the older men who have spent their younger years maxing out these qualities who? will find it easiest to date gorgeous younger women.?
However, it?s also more important than ever for older men to put an effort into looking great.???
If you don?t lift weights, eat healthily or have a grooming routine in your twenties, it?s still possible to look reasonably good.?
That?s far less likely in your forties and beyond. You can?t get by on genetics alone at that age.?
So, make an effort to eat well, go to the gym and take care of your grooming. It?ll make life so much easier as an older man in the modern dating market.?
The age gap will be less of a concern for women if you?re dressing better than most of the guys their age.
Hopefully, as an established older man, you can afford to splash out on more expensive clothes.
When a man dresses well and looks after his body, it indicates a certain level of self-esteem. That in itself is attractive, much more than the older man who ?lets himself go?.
You don?t need to be decked out in all the trendiest brands. Still, it?ll serve you well to wear clothes that fit your body well and remain somewhat relevant to the modern day.???
Avoid these ?old man? fashion mistakes at all costs.
Some people might try to suggest you have no business trying to date younger women. Don?t be fooled.
In most cases, they?re either jealous, misinformed or women trying to ?shit test? you.??
As mentioned above, men in their 40s and beyond are most likely to have the personality traits that women are most attracted to. Women in their late teens and early 20s are most likely to have the physical traits that men are most attracted to.?
If these older men and younger women have been taking care of themselves, they?ll both be at their peak sexual market value. It makes sense for them to be paired together, and that?s why it happens so often.?
So, don?t be approaching women with an attitude suggesting you?d be lucky to date them.?
If you?ve been living life properly, you probably have a lot more to offer than the younger guys who know her.?
You may have a great high-paying job, but that won?t help your dating life if you?re too tight with your money.?
She doesn?t care about the zeros in your bank account, as much as the lifestyle you?re living. Is it one that a beautiful woman would want to be a part of??
A bit of extra money spent on your house, your car, your clothes or your first dates goes a long way.
There is a healthy balance when it comes to spending money on a woman. If you?re trying to impress her with money and nothing else, that can be a huge turn-off.
Either that or it?s a huge turn-on for a gold digger.?
If you do want to pay for everything she does, sign up for a legitimate sugar dating website. At least then, you?re guaranteed to get what you want out of the deal.?
When you?re living a life packed full of awesome friends, fun parties and cool hobbies, it becomes so much easier to attract amazing women.
That?s just not because you?re living a lifestyle that beautiful women would want to be part of.
It also helps prevent neediness and desperation from ruining your chances with them.
When you have lots of cool stuff going on anyway, it?s much easier to be carefree in your interactions with women.
This gives them the space to chase you, which is essential when it comes to dating high-quality women.???
If you think social media is ?only for young people?, that?s incredibly short-sighted.?
There are dozens of reasons why social media makes it easier for you to attract women into your life.?
By not having an active presence there, you?re shooting yourself in the foot.?
At the very least, upload a handful of your best photos to Instagram – and message her on this platform.?
This way, she can learn more about your lifestyle and who you are without you having to boast about it.?
Perhaps you?re recently divorced – or you had your heart broken by a few women in your younger years. Join the club. Most older singletons have baggage. But there?s no point being bitter.?
Being single in your 40s, 50s and beyond can be the best time of your life! But you?ll have to make the decision to enjoy it.??
You can have the wisdom of an older man and the lust for life of a teenager. That?s one hell of an attractive combination.?
Instead of ?setting down? in the latter half of your life, you get to enjoy new adventures with amazing new women.?
That?s something to celebrate!
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