Whitney Casey, a dating and relationship expert, appeared on the Howard Stern show this morning to promote her new book The Man Plan: Drive Men Wild.

While Whitney was fun to listen to, do women have us figured out in the same way that we’ve figured them out?

A recent review of her book says:

Journalist Casey’s guide to getting a man isn’t just another collection of dating don’ts and manners musts. Chapter by chapter, she gives etiquette tips on dressing, decorating, sports, wine, finance - even how to text-message. Anyone who’s reads her tips on “Your Dream Bedroom, His Nightmare” has got to admit she’s on to something.

I still think that if a girl really want to catch and keep a guy then she should read my post titled 10 Ways a Girl Can Keep A Guy Like Me.

If you want to listen to some of Whitney’s advice, you can watch some of her Match.com advice videos here.

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I have not hidden the fact that I have had my heart ripped apart on a couple occasions over the years. Considering all of the girls I’ve been with, the ratio is still vastly in my favor… but the fact is, I hate losing.

Years ago there was Beth, who left me a battered man. I was about to move in with her. I had a cruise planned. I thought I would marry her. She had other plans.

Years later, after being hardened through a barrage of one night stands, foreign romances, and random flings… I truly thought I was incapable of loving ever again.

Well, if you read The Anatomy of the Sickness, you know I was wrong, and that love once again crushed old Bobby’s spirits.

What I often ask myself is, knowing what I know now, would I have done what it takes to get them back?

At the time, when I wanted them back so badly, I did nearly everything wrong. And those mistakes led me to be the man I am today. I really don’t believe I would be any happier right now with either of the two girls still in my life.

…But if you want to open Pandora’s box

Although I always advise guys with a broken heart to “move on to something better,” I also understand the sheer difficulty of doing just that.

As I wrote about in The Anatomy of the Sickness, and then explained further in a podcast on the subject, chances are you are doing everything entirely wrong in regards to winning your ex back over.

When I think of the commonalities between the two times I lost the girl, I see a repetition in my behavior:

• I sent flowers
• I called repeatedly
• I professed my loved repeatedly
• I vowed to change
• I made myself completely available to them for rekindling the relationship

It all felt so right at the time, but it was all so completely wrong.

Recently I came across this book Magic of Making Up and my initial impression was to dismiss it as another feminine approach to working things out.

Then I read the entire letter and a flood of emotions came over me, remembering just how cool and icy the love of my life’s became as I tried to win them back “the wrong way.” It seemed the harder I tried, the more distant and unemotional they became, almost like I was making it easier for them.

Breaking up is never easy, but some times it is unavoidable. But for those girls that you truly believe are the one, I would recommend shelling out the $39 on a book like this. Hell, during my two breakups I would spend more on booze trying to forget about the girl.

3 Quick Tips for Getting an Ex Back

1. Space: The more space you give her, the less you email, call, or stop over, the more you will be allowing her to miss you. You will also give much needed time for some of the negative emotions you are both feeling to cool off. Yes, giving her space may seem like you are risking losing her. But at this point you’ve lost her… now you have to wait for her to come back. Remember the advice given to Mikey in Swingers, “There is nothing you can do to make her want to come back… there are only things you can do to make her not want to come back.”
2. Do not be afraid to walk away. You must take every last bit of manhood you still possess, and power up the strength to walk away if need be. If the girl is certain that you will always be waiting for her, it will take her twice as long to make up her mind. The minute she feels a sense of urgency in her decision, the more likely she will be to give you a second go around.
3. Actions speak louder than words. And no this is not advice to buy her flowers or write her a poem. I consider those words. And meaningless. If you want to win her back, you have to go back to the fundamentals. You have to be the guy who attracted her in the first place. You need to be charming, confident, alpha, and funny. Not the needy, pining guy, crying for her to come back.

These are just a few tips for you. If you are serious about getting an ex back ( and be honest with yourself as to whether or not it is really for the best) I would recommend picking up a copy of the book Magic of Making Up.

I thought I knew a lot from everything I learned through my two disastrous experiences, but this book has some original ideas that I truly believe will help you win your ex back.

Do I wish I had read a book like this back when Beth left me?

It would have saved me a lot of temporary pain… but in the long run, no, I’m glad I learned through my mistakes.

If you think that losing this person might be a bigger mistake then keeping her, buy the book.

If not, there are plenty, and I mean plenty, of eager, attractive, sexy, and cool chicks out there waiting for a guy like you to seduce them.

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I came across a bunch of videos of Mystery instructing a seminar/boot camp from awhile back.  Listening to Mystery teach this stuff is like watching an old esteemed professor explain his craft.

I still find it mind blowing how much time and energy these pioneers put into figuring all of this out back in the day.  Its been awhile since I read The Game and recently I’ve taken for granted the sheer magnitude of what these men have accomplished in regards to the study of attraction.

Although the book was written after he left the company, outside of taking a boot camp, or buying the extremely expensive Revelations program, I still think Magic Bullets lays down the foundation of this method better than any other.  If you add in the Routines Manual, you really have no excuse not to get started and begin seeing results in no time.

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Having read the post, Mr. M volunteered another book he though was life changing.  The book Your Erroneous Zones happens to be one of the first self improvement books I read back in college.  I also just bought a copy of it for my girlfriend.

As most of us suffer from the erroneous beliefs, false ideals, and concepts… I thought that I would make a quick list of what Dr. Wayne Dyer terms the erroneous zones.

The Erroneous Zones

Not to be mistake with erogenous zones, the highly sexual areas of the body, you erroneous zones are areas that we artificially suffer, and should be avoided..

1.  Not loving yourself.  When most people think of the idea of “loving themselves” they mistakenly believe that it is selfish or egotistical to love yourself.  But the truth is, those who truly love themselves are usually the most giving, caring, and compassionate people around.  The people who hate themselves are usually the ones causing the people around them to suffer.

2.  Seeking approval. For some reason we are a culture that needs to impress those around us.  We need to be liked, admired, respected, and wanted.  Although there is nothing wrong with “wanting” people to like you, the problem arises when you “need” the approval of others.  This is the number one reason “nice guys” rarely get the girls they want.. because they “need” the girl’s approval.  It is also the cause of much useless suffering.  You are never going to impress everyone. So stop worrying so damn much about it.

3.  Staying stuck in the past.  We all have things in our past that we would love to go back in time and change.  But the sad reality is it is not possible.  You will never be able to go back to high school and beat up the kid who used to bully you around.  The girl you loved and lost freshman year is gone.  She probably isn’t coming back.  Move on.  Your daddy didn’t pay enough attention to you while you were growing up?  Join the club. Wasting the precious time you are given dwelling on any of these sort of things just diminishes your present moments.

4.  Guilt and Worry.  No matter how bad you feel about something you did in the past, its over and done with.  Learn from it and move on.  Feeling guilty about it does not help anyone.  And don’t let others control you with guilt.  As for worry, there are two possible scenarios for everything you are worrying about: 1.  What you’re worrying about you have no control over.  Which means your worry is useless.  2.  What you’re worrying about you do have control over.  Which means take the control and solve the problem.

5. Avoiding the unknown. I can tell you right now that the biggest cause of failure in the lives of most ordinary men is there unwillingness to leave their comfort zone.  I wrote a post awhile back called Bust Through Your Comfort Zone.  I highly recommend reading it if you find that you’re living an ordinary life.

6. The belief that things need to be fair.  The world around you will unfold exactly how it unfolds.  It doesn’t care if it rains on your wedding day.  It doesn’t care if only the jerks get the girls.  It doesn’t care if your too young to die.  It is pointless to get caught up in “the justice trap.”  The justice trap is the need for things to be fair.  Life is not fair.  Some people are born healthy, wealthy, and good looking.  Other people are born poor, mentally challenged, and fat.  That is just the way it is.

7.  Procrastination.  For some reason most of us believe that we’ll enjoy cleaning the garage better tomorrow, or we’ll have the courage to approach a girl the next time, or we’ll be in a better frame of mind to complete the project in a couple hours.  If you’re like me, and seriously in need of help overcoming procrastination I recommend the book The Now Habit.

I think it would be wise to spend a few minutes analyzing your own life in relation to these seven erroneous zones.  Which ones do you suffer from the most?

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Top 10 Dating Resolutions for 2009

10. I will not be the last one to text every night when I first start flirting with someone.

9. I will not change my Facebook status to “in a relationship” within the first month of dating someone.

8. I will not get drunk on a first date.

7. I won’t keep going out with people after three dates if I’m not that into them, just because I’m bored or don’t want to be single.

6. I will wait, patiently, until my partner finishes what s/he has to say, even when I’m mad.

5. If I am single, I will put myself out there—online, on the scene and through friends—and meet new people, because variety is the spice of life.

4. If I am partnered, I will make an effort to keep the relationship interesting by trying new things together—new places for dates, new activities in the bedroom, etc.

3. I will tell my sexual partners what I want in bed, and I will not be embarrassed about my desires, fetishes and comfort level with kink.

2. I will have as much sex as I want, but I will still be careful about my health.

1. I will raise my standards and lower my expectations.

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One of the greatest most effective sales techniques throughout history has been “the takeaway.” The Takeaway occurs when the object your considering purchasing is suddenly pulled from the shelves. I saw the power of “the takeaway” firsthand while working as real estate agent selling houses. A client would spend weeks deciding whether or not to put an offer in on a house, and then suddenly the house would go off the market when an offer was put in by another buyer. Client number one instantly “had” to have the house.

I first discovered the power of “the takeaway” for amplifying attraction back in college. I discovered this accidentally but the results were staggering. Over the years I had to work on finding that fine line between displaying some disinterest to amplify attraction, and losing the girl to another suitor by showing too much disinterest.

In this members only article I will walk you through The Art of The Takeaway.

The Power of The Takeaway In Creating Attraction

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Match.com is by far the best pay dating site online.  Well, for those of you to cheap to pay the $20 a month… now is your chance to get on board Match’s newest creation Down to Earth.

I’ve posted several articles recently highlighting the fact that online dating memberships have been spiking over the past couple months.

And I think it is safe to say that the stigma once attached to internet dating is officially dead.  I would even go as far as to say that is probably more acceptable to meet your girlfriend online, then say a bar or club.

So, pick up a copy of Insider Internet Dating and get your ass online.

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Life is all about setting goals. Sure my goals include twisting out (I believe that’s the technical term) runway models, but the one goal I could actually obtain is to drink lots of beers. Roger Protz’s 300 Beers to Try Before You Die! will help me do that in style. I’m a bit of a beer snob myself and growing up with a microbrewery in my home town before microbrews were cool only made it worse. If you have any interest in completing this life goal. you might want to pick this bad boy up. You can pick it up over at Amazon for like 17 Bucks.

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