Day #26: Social Circle Game
I have a confession to make.
I HATE cold approaching.
I always have.
Its not that I suffer from approach anxiety anymore.
It’s just a pain in the ass.
It’s a lot of work.
Because of the “law of familiarity”…
Chances are that before you ever get her out on a date… some other guy will have already stolen your spot.
And THAT GUY didn’t meet her doing a cold approach.
He is probably in her social circle.
He probably sees her more often.
He probably knows her friends.’
So he always wins out over the random guy she met in a bar one night every time.
Fact of life.
Deal with it.
Don’t believe me? Ask around….
I bet you don’t find one girl who says she met her boyfriend after he cold approached her at a [insert] bar, bookstore, coffee shop, mall, Whole Foods
It hardly ever happens.
(Except for Rob Judge, who has that super power)
So I’m going to let you off the hook.
I here by give you permission to stop beating yourself up for not cold approaching.
Do you remember what i said all the way back on Day 2?
I said if you want to get good at this you have to make it EASY on yourself.
So how do you make it easy?
Social Circle Game.
Girls are drawn to guys in their social circle.
These guys include:
[+] Friends of friends
[+] Guys they go to school with
[+] Guys they work with
[+] Guys they see at the same events they frequent
And the best part of about meeting girls through any of the ways above?
No cold approaching required.
However, there are a few required elements:
- You must have a high status reputation within your scene
- You must have some level of social power within your scene
- You must be known as a sexual guy within your scene
Melissa is out at a bar for her friends’ Jen’s birthday. Melissa is currently single. And she’s looking to meet a guy.
Birthday girl (Jen) has a boyfriend, Joe. Joe has two friends with him at the bar. Neither of Joe’s friends have ever met Melissa.
Yet, because of their friendship with Jen’s boyfriend, Melissa is a WARM APPROACH.
It is perfectly natural for either one of them to start to talking to her, without her having any of her defenses to up.
And the chances of either one of them hooking up with Melissa is good.
It’s probably about 30x times greater than any other random guy at the bar who decides to approach her.
Girls WANT to meet a guy from their social circle.
Its EASIER for them too.
They have a frame of reference on you.
There is a much less likely chance you’ll turn out to be a creep, stalker, or rapist.
Plus there are the other benefits.
Like you already share mutual friends.
Conversation flows easier because you can gossip about the same people.
(Gossip is an amazing tool to draw two people together and make a conversation “FUN”)
What’s the best part of building up your social circle…
It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
….Back when I used to wait tables there was this girl Anna I worked with.
There was tremendous sexual tension between us.
But for some reason we never hooked up.
3 years after I quit the job. It had been three years since I last saw her.
One random night I run into her in a bar.
Within minutes we have our hands all over each other.
Two hours later she is naked on my bed….
No COLD APPROACH required.
On day 2 I told you to make a list of different places you can go to meet women. This list will also serve as places you can begin to build your social circle up.
Remember, on Day 20 I told you how I used Hooter’s Monday Night Trivia night as a way to get the Hooter’s girls into my social circle.
Create a plan of action how you can do the same thing.
From here on out, begin thinking in terms of how you can build up a social circle.
Cuz the effort you put into doing that will reward you much greater than effort you put into cold approaching.
Make it happen,
P.S. I can’t stress the importance of having LOTS of females in your life…
Not only will it make your pool of girls to date bigger, but it also helps you in a variety of other ways.
One of the things I love to do with my STL members is help them create a life that is filled with women. I walk you through 24 weeks. Each week working to expand your social circle. So that by the end of the program, you are not only dating more girls…
…But you have more friends, and an overall better lifestyle.
For me, lifestyle is what it’s all about. Personally I don’t want to be crawling through bars and clubs every night…
I like having a life where any given night I can call a handful of girls and organize a night on the town, or head down to my boat and go for a little cruise along the bay… I think creating the lifestyle where you have an abundance of girls already in your life is how to allow yourself to focus on other aspects of your life…
In The Social Training Lab I want to help you build this lifestyle.
When you create this sort of lifestyle it gets easy to meet girls. You don’t have to troll through bars. You don’t have to go on a ton of online dating sites… I like doing things the easy way. I always have.