Top Five Movies of Kristen Stewart

I have never seen ?Twilight.? I have never read any of the ?Twilight? books. As I thought those two thoughts and relished them with some kind of pride, I realized I had reached the third step of getting old. (The first step is avoiding any new technology like Twitter or Facebook purely based on the fact that it sounds new-fangled to you. The second is saying or thinking, ?Music today isn?t as good as it was when I was young.?) I bet there were people that never saw ?Gone With the Wind? back in 1939 and considered that a point of pride. Same with other super pop-culture events like ?Star Wars? or ?Titanic? or ?Avatar.? I suppose everyone likes to take a stand against change, new and popular things because we want the prize moments of our past to still reign supreme. I?m not sure if self-awareness of this rigidity makes it ok. However, I will concede this to the ?Twilight? fans: Kristen Stewart tempts me to go see the movies.

The caveat is that it isn?t a big temptation, but it is bigger than anything that would exist to get me to read the books. (Let?s just say to get me to read the books, there would have to be money, lots of great food, a long-legged sexy woman and a secluded cabin in the woods for multiple weeks with the only other reading material being a run of Reader?s Digests from the 70s, a compilation of poetry from a local high school and a couple of cereal boxes. But, I would have to read the cereal boxes to the point of memorization first.) Because, really, all of these other movies exist that star Kristen and I?d be much more likely to watch them instead and then watch them again. And again. And again. And I?m really old.

5. Jumper

The lovely Kristen Stewart

Ok, you?re saying to yourself, you?d see this movie, this movie that got horrible, horrible reviews, over any ?Twilight? movie? Short answer: yes. Long answer: the ability to teleport anywhere in the world is so much cooler than pointy teeth.

4. Panic Room

Easy. I?ve always had a thing for Jodie Foster and David Fincher is also the guy behind ?Fight Club,? ?Se7en? and ?The Social Network.?

3. Into the Wild

I still haven?t seen this movie, but it?s not because of the talent on the screen or behind it. It?s just that I know myself. I love Jon Krakauer as a writer. I really love the book ?Into the Wild.? As good as it would be, I just don?t see how it can compare to the book, until I completely forget the book. I?m at about 15% of my memory of the book, so give me a year and I?ll see this. Then I?ll read the book again.

2. Zathura: A Space Adventure

I?m such a sucker for movies where kids or over-grown kids understand things that the grownups or responsible adults don?t. (See ?Last Action Hero? or ?Mr. Magorium?s Wonder Emporium? as further examples.) Trying to film all of the stuff that can exist in a child?s imagination and how they accept that wonder in real life gets me every time.

1. Adventureland

Know what else gets me? Getting to go to an amusement park every day. That would be so awesome. It would be even better if your co-workers were Jesse Eisenberg, Bill Hader, Kristen Wiig, Martin Starr and Kristen Stewart. Well, that?s just a fantasy, but at least I?ll always have this movie.

Agree? Disagree? Which movies would make your Kristen Stewart top five?